Reasons for Laughter and Crying
... and goes out into the world to find their views and how they will react in situations. When a person grows older they begin to understand the effects of crying. One may use crying as a way to manipulate those around him/her to get what they want. Unlike a baby who cries because they do not have another form of communication, a child, who can communicate in other ways, will cry to get what they want. For example, when a parent takes their child with them while food shopping and the child starts crying because the parent will not get the treat for the child, that is a way a child will manipulate his/her parents. When we are older, some people dissolve in tears just because they want to hear people tell them how good they are and that everything will turn out okay. This is just like when a pretty person says how ugly they are so people will praise them, or when a smart person comes out of a test saying they failed it. A psychologist by the name of Silvan Tomkins, suggested that crying was an attempt to “negatively motivate” oneself as well as those around to find something to make the crying stop. Just because some people feel the need to use tears to manipulate, not everyone does. This brings up a good point that one should be aware that tears can be used as a manipulating device. However, if one can identify manipulating tears and do something besides giving in, it may reduce the amount of times the person trying to manipulate uses tears in that way. When a person cannot manipulate whom they want they may feel frustrated. Crying can be a result of frustration because of a lack of control and feeling like crying is all one can do and the problem cannot be fixed. The feeling of frustration and lack of control is evident in the grief at funerals. One cannot bring back the life of a loved one, so they feel they are helpless. Nothing they do can change the situation, so their bottled up emotion comes out through tears. In this same situation, the crying is a release of emotion. Ovid wrote, “by weeping we disperse our wrath . . . It is a relief to weep; grief is satisfied and carried off by tears.” (118) However, when crying we feel fear and pity, but the act of crying is so powerful that it seems to cleanse us from those original feelings leaving us with clear minds. Also, it is believed that, “Repression, or ‘holding in’ feelings, is harmful. We need to ‘let it all out.’” and that, “Cathartic tears drain our bodies of the anxiety and negativity that gather there in our daily lives.” (119) The physical act of crying can be related to other physical acts. When vomiting, poisonous wastes are removed to clear our stomachs, or other forms of excretion such as, “urination, sweating, defecation, phlegm.” (131) These physical acts are metaphors for cleansing the body. Just because someone does not cry does not mean that they are filled with poisonous wastes. It is more psychological; the ridding of “emotional waste” to cleanse the mind. Crying is one way to handle frustrations, but some people feel crying is a waste of time. Although there are these many reasons for crying, crying is not a way that everyone handles pain, grief, or what have you. Some adults discourage crying because they see it as being “childish” and feel that the person crying should just grow up and find another way of dealing with what they are going through. People have different ways of dealing with situations and may not cry. Some people write down their feelings, go and take out their emotion through physical activity, engulf themselves in a favorite hobby, or simply laugh to disguise their affliction. Laughing is a way some people hide how they are truly feeling. They do not want others to see how upset they really are so they laugh instead. In life, a lot of overweight people hide that they are unhappy with their weight by always laughing or being the one to make other laugh. I know this from experience because my sister is overweight and has always been the “funny” one of her friends and I see that when I go out with her, but when we come back home that feeling disappears and the crying begins because she is upset about her weight. Laughter was her was of coping with the unhappiness of being overweight in a society that shuns it. When overweight people are laughing it is like no one is paying attention to how they look but only focusing on the fantasy they made up, and it makes them feel better about life. It is said that, “laughter is the best medicine”. Laughter helps one release and have it completely consume them so they are in a totally different world. When you are laughing, you are not thinking of anything else, but you are focussing on the great feeling of laughter. Not only does laughter pose as a way to release, it also gives a feeling of relaxation and shows trust among those you are laughing with. When you are laughing with someone it is a type of playful laughter, like a simple joke. Neither party is being hurt and they are enjoying the laughter. Sometimes people do get hurt when laughter is going on because they are the ones being laughed at. Superiority laughter is not always bad. There is a type of superiority laughter that is not mocking and ridiculing but just pointing out the fault. In a situation with my roommate Meghan, she told me a story about her and Ben, her boyfriend. The third “Lord of the Rings” was supposed to be their first movie together as a couple, but Ben forgot his family saw the trilogy together as a type of tradition. So, Ben had to tell Meghan that they could not go see it together. This situation made Meghan and Ben very upset and whenever someone mentions the movie they still get upset. When Ben came to visit, the movie came up and Ben asked if I had heard about what had happened and I said Meghan told me all about it already. So, Ben asked me if Meghan was biased when telling the story. Meghan interrupted and began saying she was biased, and Ben said, “WHAT?!” So, Meghan forcefully said, “I was biased! I was so biased! Wasn’t I Molly? Tell him how biased I was!” This made Ben and I started laughing very hard. Maybe thirty seconds later, Meghan realized what she meant and started saying she told the story in a neutral way, but the damage had already been done and we continued laughing. Meghan eventually joined in after she cooled off from being worked up about the situation. In this situation...