The Most Wonderful Day of My Life
...was Ralf; he had forgotten the rings and wanted me to bring them. I went to procure them, but they were not in their original place. I started panicking, thinking someone had stolen them, and ended tearing the house apart piece by piece before calling him back. The best man answered and I wasn’t allowed to talk to the groom until the ceremony. The stress of the day became too much and I became antagonistic with him. I heatedly replied that if he didn’t let me speak to Ralf, there wouldn’t be a wedding. When we finally connected, he seemed to think the whole mix was funny. Me, I felt like ripping his head from his shoulders and using it as a bowling ball. It was finally time to pick up mother. But while entering the car, I heard a ripping sound. Someone did a quick look and noticed a button for the train had started to come off. We decided to fix it at the church. While we lined up in the entranceway of the church, my sister was fixing my dress and noticed it was not just the button. The seam next to the zipper had ripped also. She unzipped my gown without warning me and I had to quickly grab it before giving everyone a show they’d remember. With all this being video-taped, I nearly had a traumatic ordeal I could relive repeatedly the rest of my life. While gliding down the isle, I realized the groom and best man were inebriated. Unfortunately, my facial expression gave my thoughts away. A couple of my relatives believed they were going to attend a funeral, not a wedding. After the ceremony, I learned it was my brother who had brought a bottle of cognac to the hall. After drinking this, they had boilermakers and that’s how they became drunk. We made it to communion before the next incident occurred. While everyone was receiving communion, we realized the marriage license was left at home. I had to get my brother’s attention down in the lower part of the church, no easy feat without attracting too much notice. He retrieved the license and made it back in time for pictures. We made it to the end of the ceremony before Ralf managed to totally embarrass me. After he kissed me, he turned to the Priest saying, “That was almost a French one.” I wanted to be sucked down through the floorboards and never return. We proceeded outside to the receiving line. Thank God it was mostly family at the wedding. A few of my uncles and cousins were chuckling and teasing Ralf about being intoxicated and marrying me, like he had to be drunk to go through with this. At the reception, the only thing out of place was Ralf’s family; they had decided to sit in the back instead of the table assigned to them. The only catastrophe at dinner was when my daughter spilled some of her food on my $1200 gown; undoub...