To vow or not to vow
...tes. The result is a decline in family formation, and growing individualism. Such behavior serves to slowly erode society’s unity and interdependence as they detach themselves from those around them, following the absence of family ties and bonds. Attitudes become more clinical and detached. A fall in birth rates has also come to notice as an inevitability of falling marriage rates. The grim prognosis: “Singapore’s birth rate has fallen to 1.26, one of the lowest in the world, and Singapore’s population will fall to a quarter of its size in about 100 years .” – Deputy Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong, March 2004. Though it is admittedly true that the focus on careers has had a positive impact on our economy, which would be the driving force of a thriving economy if not the next generation, whom are themselves declining in number. The disturbingly low replacement rate – 1.5, has justified the urgency of the status quo, even as foreign talent is actively pursued in the struggle to stay competitive, as well as support an aging population . 2.4. Solutions to trend of decreasing marriage rates We’ve identified increasing financial independence as one root cause. The assertion of feminism has brought about the realization of the importance of financial independence. These career-driven, single women have been identified as the group that requires immediate attention, owing to plummeting marriage rates. Our solution is a pro-marriage policy. The status quo sees dating services being widespread and catered to the needs of modern, working women, such as “Lunch Actually”. We suggest taking it a step further and implementing a compulsory company policy that requires their staff to engage in social events at regular intervals. To make marriage more attractive, financial incentives could also come into place. Since the status quo as such is that married couples get priority for flats, why not extend it to discounts on upgrading as well? For those interested in the process, help-lines can be established to give the individual better perspectives on marriage. Public awareness about dating services can be increased by ad campaigns on how our preconceptions about dating services has changed – it is not a social event for the desperate, but a chance for well-educated, refined young professionals to meet others like them. We feel that it is integral to instill the sanctity and commitment of marriage in children from the time we are young. So what we propose would be an extended civics and moral education lesson in Singaporean schools, where lessons about marriage and dealing with mutual differences can be imparted to the masses from the time they are young, so that it is ingrained within them. This way we can shift the emphasis from academics to morality, likewise a parallel shift from career to family in the future. Progressively, as the child grows, the programmes and curriculum are likewise altered and tailored to his/her needs, so that they are well-equipped with the necessary life skills and firm morals stemming from a more holistic education. As such, a better balance is created and the individual enters society with objective expectations and a realistic attitude towards marriage. Religion has also a part to play in the inculcating of the above values. With the implementation of more social events in centers of faith, where individuals have something important in common, a possible rise in marriage rates could be the outcome. It is necessary to publicize the kinds of talks and workshops that many religious groups have begun to organize, in mosques, and in the Catholic Church, where their Engaged Encounter retreat has proved a success with Catholic and non-Catholics alike. 3.1. Description of trend of divorce In Singapore, the divorce rates hit a record of 1.91 cases per thousand residents . This trend has been spotted since over 2 decades ago. For the most recent 6 years, divorce rates have decreased for males in 1999, 2000 and 2001 followed by a jump of 0.8 divorces per 1000 males and females in 2002 and a further increase of 0.7 and 0.8 divorces per 1000 people for males and females respectively . The highest divorce rate occurs in people in their early 20s . In the 20-24 and 25-29 age groups, 4.4% and 1.8% of marriages end up in divorce respectively2 in year 2003. However, the divorce rates in Singapore are still lower than other developed countries such as Britain which has 6% more of divorces occurring in year 2003 . 3.2. Reasons for the trend of an increase in divorce cases Over the past few decades, more women have been entering the work force due to the expansion of the service industry and better education. Hence, they have become more financially self-sufficient and are in a much better position to get a divorce. This has led to an increase in divorce cases as more and more women initiate divorces. ‘When divorce happens, they are capable of bringing up their kids sometimes even without the support of their ex-husbands .’With both sides bringing stress home, there is greater pressure on the marriage, which may lead to a divorce, leading to an increase in divorce cases. The legal regulation of divorce has changed radically, making it easier and quicker to get a divorce, resulting in an increase in divorce cases. Matrimonial wrongdoing, like adultery was once needed for courts to grant a divorce. However, in the ‘last twenty-five years, every US state has adopted a form of no-fault divorce ’ and many countries have followed suit. No-fault divorce liberalized divorce by abolishing grounds, deeming fault irrelevant. ‘The power of divorce lies with the spouse who wants it for whatever reason; the resistant spouse can no longer rely upon” fault-based grounds as leverage to deter or to be compensated for the divorce .’ This is similar to the situation in Singapore, where even if the other spouse objects, the court will be slow to make them stay together legally in an impossible union unless other party can show that he would suffer a great injustice if divorce is granted. This makes divorce easier, quicker and less fraught with moralistic blame. Stigmas once attached to divorce are clearly losing their force in Singapore and other parts of the world as our society becomes more liberal and open-minded. This change in mindset is due to an increase in divorce cases and western influence and the emergence of the divorce culture. ‘The divorce culture is a set of symbols, beliefs and practices that anticipate and reinforce divorce .’ Those married in recent years are increasingly talking and reproducing in terms of the divorce culture, believing that marriage is contingent. Hence, the loss of social stigma will lead to an increase in divorce cases. Nowadays, married couples are more individualistic. Due to a difference in upbringing, couples tend to be more self-centered. They tend to put their interests above family interests and family harmony. They regard their own happiness as more important than their children’s happiness. Hence, there has been an increase in divorce cases as more and more couples take the easy way out, choosing a path that they believe will bring them happiness. This is done without consideration of the adverse impacts that a divorce would have on their children. More and more young couples are getting a divorce due to unrealistic expectations of marriage and the fact that some of them are too immature. Some of them may also get married for the wrong reason. ‘In the 20-24 age group, about 44 in every 1000 marriages end in divorce. In the 25-29 age group, it is 18 in every 1000 .’ 3.3. Impact of trend of increasing divorce rates The rising divorce rates have an adverse impact on the society and the individuals as well as their children. It would have a long-term effect on the children. Children with divorced parents face a greater likelihood of divorcing in adulthood and they may suffer from low self-esteem and rush into marriages they are not prepared for. Divorces may be deemed as an easy way out and this would worsen the situation in the future . This effect could last into adulthood where they suffer from emotional baggage like crippling fears of loss and studied have shown that 60% of the children of divorced were married compared to 80% of children who grew up in intact families . The remarrying rates will go up. This would cause the children to have to adjust to having new parents and jealousy may arise. The children may also suffer a variety of psychological problems such as shock, denial, anger and panic due to the custody battle. Many become aggressive, rebellious, and socially insecure . The number of remarriages increasing can be seen in the following tables. Grooms Civil Marriages Muslim Marriages Year 1992 2002 1...