diary
... only if you were here; there had been no passion, no love. I told you that I loved you; I told you that I cared for you how could I let this happen. I am alone now; all I ever did was complaint and cause problems for you. I wish that one time I could tell you what you mean to my life, that you were my life. I wish the lord would do his thing and take the pain away. Please someone do something make the hurt go away. I’ve been trying to read but I don’t know what I am reading. It’s so lonely here without you, I should have known better. I want to sleep but it just won’t come. The pills in the cabinet are calling out to me but I am scared. My head hurts, my heart hurts so much from crying but if I take anything for it I am terrified I won’t stop that I might not want to stop. I don’t have a choice in the matter; I must go for what I have done. I wish you would just walk in through that door and tell me everything is all right, I wish you would just walk in and grasp me the way you sometimes did. I wish could te...