She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not: A Look at Interpersonal Attraction
...Another environmental factor that can influence attraction is the connotation of the environment in which interaction takes place. Reinforcement and Reward theories of attraction are based on classic and operant conditioning learning processes. For example, if Suzie loves her Spanish class and John is in her class, she may associate John with the positive experience of being in that class, and thus favor him. In summery, the reinforcement and reward model states that attraction to a person is based on the positives and negatives associated with that person. (Whether or not the association is logical.) Byrne (1969) states that “Attraction toward X is a function of the relative number of rewards and punishments associated with X” The environment may set the stage for an interaction and possible attraction, but it is certainly not the only factor contributing to attraction. Many personal factors and individual characteristics shape attraction. The most immediate characteristic that influences attraction is physical appearance. Just the word attraction has a connotative meaning associated with physical appearance. Typically the moral and socially accepted view is that one shouldn’t “judge a book by its cover”. However, it is impossible to ignore the importance of physical attraction. Facial features, body build, clothing, and hairstyle can all affect the way a person is perceived. The situation however, is not hopeless for people who may not fit the societal media influenced picture of what an attractive person is. Research has shown in a sense beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Culture norms differ on what is attractive and what isn’t. Research also shows that even though physical attraction is important in short term relationships, when both men and women are looking for long term relationships, looks become much less important. (Stewart 2001) Also, studies have found that people tend to seek romantic partners who are of approximately the same level of attractiveness as they are. This principle is called the matching hypothesis. When asked to choose a potential date from photos, research participants consistently choose people who are about as attractive as they are. These results may be due to the fact that there is a tendency to associate personal qualities with outward appearance, and people are generally attracted to people who they perceive are similar to them. The old saying “Birds of a feather flock together” appears to hold sound according to research. Many studies have been conducted where participants were asked to full out a survey, and then later to rate their degree of liking for a stranger who had supposedly also filled out the survey with them. Attraction increased in proportion to increases in similarity between the participant and the stimulus stranger. (Huston 1974) Physical similarity is not just important, similar personality characteristics, religious beliefs, education level, and economic status all play a role in determining attractiveness. Similarity strongly influences attraction; however the opposite is also true. As individuals are attracted and build close relationships, they often become more similar to each other. Because of this, similarity is important but not exclusively essential. In long term close relationships two people’s personalities meld to become more congruent. Research has also been conducted to determine if the popular theory opposites attract holds true. Results show that that extreme dissimilarity in partners is likely to hurt attraction and future relationship satisfaction. Some researchers refer to this as the theory of fatal attraction. Characteristics that are dissimilar may at first seem interesting, but in the long run may be considered flaws after breakups. Felmlee (2001) concluded that approximately 44% of people in relationships experience fatal attractions. Dissimilarity between partners leads to more breakups, especially when the dissimilar qualities were initially considered attractive features. If the dissimilarities were discovered well the relationship was developing, they seemed less likely to result in a breakup. So, while being different doesn’t necessarily spell disaster in relationships, in situations where the difference causes and attraction, after time the novelty seems to wear off and cause relational problems. Many things can attract people. One can draw conclusions to help them succeed in attracting others. First of all, finding a positive environment to interact with someone is helpful, because research indicated environment can play a role in attraction. Even simpler, just interacting with someone frequently can enhance attraction. In regard to personal differences and similarities, research shows that sticking with someone similar to you is the best bet for a long, successful relationship. The movie Two Weeks Notice (Lawrence 2002) tells the story of an extremely intelligent but unusual lawyer Lucy Kelson who eventually falls in love with a very different millionaire executive, George Wade.. Lucy is a highly motivated and idealistic individual. She’s a Harvard graduate and a frequent political protester. Her cur...