Parenting
...er, what sets authoritarian parents apart from permissive parents is the fact that authoritarian parents tend to follow thru with the punishment set where as permissive parents tend to ignore the punishment or even change it to a lesser punishment. Permissive parents, sometimes unknowingly, relent to the punishment and allow the child a second chance. Many times the child will only repeat the wrong doing again. In the book Child Development, Bergan and Henderson show an example of a tantrum. They explain that children may scream or kick, for example, to attempt to get the parent’s attention or to obtain something they want. They show that many times the parent will become frustrated or annoyed and may give in to the child and allow the child to have whatever it is they want in order to stop the tantrum. (240) The parent is only rewarding the child for wrong doing. Authoritarian parents, on the other hand, may scold or spank the child, put the child in a time out zone, or take away a favorite toy in order to show the child that they preformed an unacceptable act. The effects that the two of these parenting skills show are completely different. Although entirely different, what person can assume the right to say that either technique is right or wrong? Many authors write on the topic of parenting and each book shows different points of view. Many psychologists will conclude that spanking and scolding are both abusive behaviors toward children. The book Managing Childhood Behavior, by J. Rainer Twiford, argues that sometimes parents become so angry that spanking leads to abuse. He continues to state that spanking may increase misbehavior because it is a form of attention and may reinforce the act. Although spanking is supposed to be a form of discipline, Twiford argued that parents allow anger to interfere with discipline and lead to child abuse. (62) He does however counter his own argument and show some positive forms of spanking. In the same book, Managing Childhood Behavior, Twiford shows that spanking can be a positive effort as well. He discusses issues like children playing with matches, hastily crossing a street, or toying with sharp objects. Twiford’s view is that by giving a firm explanation with the spanking the child may quickly understand the severity of his action or what physical harm awaits. (63) Both forms of parenting can show effectiveness and inadequacy. The point is that parenting is the way each individual looks at raising children. Some people have strong religious views about parenting and may raise children with high standards and strong convictions. On the other hand, many people use the same practices and have little or no success at all. Again, it goes back to the individual parent. The book On Parenting, by Dr. James Dobson, shows excellent incite on parenting. Dr. Dobson quoted “The way a child sees his parents’ leadership sets the tone for his eventual relationship with his teachers, school principal, police, neighbors, and employers.” (189) This statement alone is beyond powerful. Think on the context, Dr. Dobson shows the importance of good parenting. If a child is inconsiderate of his parents, what will that same child encounter, once he starts school, or once he goes into the real world to obtain a job? If that child continuously disobeyed his parents and received no punishment from it, what will he do as a young adult toward a boss or fellow worker who points out a mistake? Effects of permissive parents certainly do not help a child. In the book Child Development, Bergan and Henderson discuss a likely out come of parents who give in. They state that when a parent gives in to a child with a behavioral problem, the child will assume that the parent accepts the wrongful act, and by doing this again, the child assumes that he will get what he is wanting. (40) This parental behavior is only confusing to the child. It allows them to have a false sense of judgment. They will believe that by doing wrong they will obtain anything they desire. Dr. James Dobson makes a valid statement in his book ...