Ares Monolouge
...can be kept secret from this god for you see, he is the sun god and can spy on everyone and anyone that he wishes to. So, I will continue, I have been in an ongoing hidden relationship with the goddess Aphrodite. The tryst with Aphrodite had gone on for quite a while, in defiance of that fact that this particular goddess was already married to a fellow god named Hephaistos. Aphrodite and I were dallying together when we were rudely interrupted some days ago. For, Helios had been spying on us in enjoying each others company. He promptly reported the incident to Hephaistos, who was rather angry. Later I was told that Hephaistos had planed to catch us "in the act", and so he created a trap to snare us. At the appropriate time, this net was sprung, and we were trapped locked in rather private embrace. But Hephaistos was not yet satisfied with his revenge - he invited the Olympian gods and goddesses to view our annoying condition. For the sake of modesty, the goddesses demurred luckily, but the male gods went and witnessed the sight. Some commented on the beauty of Aphrodite, others remarked that they would trade places with me, and they all laughed while we were in this predicament. Aphrodite, who, if goddesses can blush, surely did so. So, that is the story as it is told by many others. And this is not the only reason I have been ridiculed by others I was once Accused of attacking and murdering Poseidon god of the sea and earthquakes, which I of course did not. But, I went through the ...