Intercultural communication
...tting his meals properly because of lack of money. Clearly, he was offended. There is a similar Chinese greeting, such as ＂上哪儿去啊？＂＂到哪儿去啦？＂ which if translated literally, would be "Where are yon going?" Or "Where have you been?" The natural reaction of most English-speaking people to this greeting would most likely be "It' s none of your business!" Fortunately, not all greetings sound strange or arouse displeasure. Many are similar , some are merely different. While greetings in many languages often indicate the time of day, there may be inconsistencies within a language. English has Good morning, Good afternoon and Good evening but not Good noon. And Good night is not a greeting at all, but an expression of farewell. Response to compliments There are some differences in replying to compliments between Chinese and American: Americans tend to accep the compliment while Chinese generally murmur some reply about not being worthy of the praise. Here a few more words might be said about this difference. Consider the following examples: A young Chinese woman in the U.S. was complimented for the lovely dress that she was wearing. "It's exquisite. The colors are so beautiful!" She was pleased but somewhat embarrassed. In typical Chinese fashion, she replied, "Oh, it' s just an ordinary dress that I bought in China." At a reception in an American college, a newly arrived Chinese scholar was chatting with the hostess, who was an old friend. As an acquaintance of hers came up she said, "Ron, let me introduce Mr. Chen, an outstanding physicist and one of the nicest people I know." Mr. Chen offered his hand to the newcomer but looked at his hostess and said with a smile, "Should I blush, or should I tell him you don' t really mean it?" In both cases, the words of the Chinese conveyed a message quite different from what was intended. In the case of the Chinese woman, the reply could have meant that the one paying the compliment did not know what a really good dress is; otherwise, how could she get so excited about an ordinary dress? The implication was that the American woman' s taste in clothing was questionable. In the second case, if Chen had not been smiling, his words could have been interpreted as meaning "You 're just saying that to be polite; you don' t really mean that." So in one case, the person had poor judgment. In the other, the latter case, the hostess was not sincere. Quite a gap between intention and message! Food and Face Few, if any, countries in the world have a richer culinary tradition than China. Indeed, Chinese food is available - and popular - in nearly every country on earth. tThere is much more to Chinese food than just its rich diversity of dishes. As important as any ingredient or cooking style is the concept of face. What and how much the host orders for his guests is generally taken as a reflection of regard in which the host holds the guests. Chinese hosts tend, therefore, to order high quality dishes and in great quantity. On many occasions, Chinese working contacts have invited an American to dinner, saying, "David, just order what you like. This dinner is very informal," whereupon the American has ordered things like kung-pao chicken, home-style tofu, or spinach with garlic, a few very simple dishes. The host would then laugh and say, "N., no. How about some steamed crab or prawns? Maybe a fish… " to the Chinese mind, if the host were to order the dishes I suggested, he would lose face. Quantity is equally important. Chinese tend to order (and in their own homes, prepare ) much, much more food than the number of people attending can reasonably be expected to eat. When there is a lot of food left over at the end of the meal, the host can be assured that she had ordered a sufficient quantity. Of course, over the years, this practice has resulted in an incalculable amount of wasted food (though, thankfully, the trend in recent years seems to be toward taking food home). But the persistence of this emphasis on quantity bespeaks the continued importance of considerations of face. Finally, there is the question of paying the bill. When the roles of host and guest are clearly defined, as is always the case on formal occasions, this isn't an issue. The hosts typically remain on for a few minutes after the guests have departed and pay the bill. When the occasion is less formal, however, such as when a few friends get together for a meal, the payment of the bill becomes a matter of face. As the bill is brought to the table, one or more of the persons attending the dinner will insist on paying it. So it is not strange to see the scene that two friends struggle so aggressively to pay the bill, each pulling money from his pocket and pu...