self eestem
...al, and often in leadership positions. All of this audacity is still a face of low self-esteem. This type of person, may exhibit any or all of these traits: when things go wrong, wants to devour other people alive, or is a perfectionist, demanding, and self centered, cannot take criticism, instruction, or direction, is extremely independent and self sufficient (Reasoner, 2000, p. 1). Low self-esteem contributes to a distorted view of oneself and other, a lack of self-confidence, poor performance, and unhappiness or despair. Causes of Low Self-Esteem Low self-esteem is caused by a large variety of factors. It could be the result of something that your parents did to you or something as simple as a friend saying, “You look like you gained a little weight.” A person’s perception of certain events can make him or her feel embarrassed or dense, which are some primary causes of low self-esteem. Low self-esteem can negatively affect every aspect of your life, from work to relationships (Burns, 1999, pp. 7-13). According to David G. Myers, (2002), People with low self-esteem have a lot of trouble with their feelings. In fact, it may precisely be their feelings that people with low self-esteem are trying to avoid. This society does not teach us how to live with negative emotions like fear, depression, panic or anxiety attacks, phobias, guilt, shame, sorrow or anger. As a result, we frequently elect to try not to feel these things by shutting them down, or going into denial, or sacking them away. Consequently, people with low self-esteem experience a lot of isolation, a lot of distrust, a lot of anxiety, shame, guilt, and fear (p. 447-48). In addition to these causes of low self-esteem it is imperative the people remember that self-esteem can and does fluctuate. Symptoms of Low Self-Esteem Symptoms of low self-esteem vary from person to person. Also, if a person experiences one or any of these symptoms it does not necessarily mean that he or she suffers from low self-esteem. Some of the symptoms of low self-esteem include: · Makes negative "I am" statements · Fears new experiences and changes; lacks trust · Has exaggerated responses to defeats or disappointments; wants to be perfect, but sees self as far from perfect · Frequently boasts; exaggerates successes to cover up feelings of inadequacy · Eager to please; strong need for approval and constant support · Neglects physical appearance to an extreme degree · Demonstrates poor eye contact · Strong need for material possessions · Reluctant to express own ideas; lacks belief in self · Lacks accountability; feels hopeless · Lacks energy; passive; sees small task as very large and intimidating · Low level of self-awareness; uses lots of energy to maintain a false image · Excessively anxious · Overly sensitive to criticism, but overly critical of others · Psychologically isolated; lacks a supportive network · Have frequent psychosomatic complaints · Habitually puts others down · Focuses on the past · Apologizes excessively; lots of negative self-talk (Burns, 1999, p. 14). The Effects of Low Self-Esteem on the Family Low self-esteem has several effects on the family. In families where low self-esteem is present the adolescents and/or young adults in those families are more susceptible to experiment with alcohol and other drug use, have suicide thoughts or feeling, commit homicide, get pregnant, or become a victim of abuse; and for males only lower earnings and more extended periods of unemployment in early adulthood. The strongest influences upon self-esteem are the individual’s parents. Parenting style, physical and particularly sexual abuse play a significant role, as do genetic factors in an individual’s self-esteem. In a 1975 study conducted by Offer and Offer found that male adolescents whose development was marked by spurts in which the adolescents had to struggle more to surmount developmental tasks where the result of a family where their parents commonly had conflicts with one another and the adolescents had conflicts with their parents over values. These adolescents tended to become more anxious, depressed, and lose their self-esteem after such disagreements (Lidz, 1992, pp. 183-84). When a parent fears that his or her child may repeat the same mistakes that they made the child can arouse new distrusts with his or her parent. According to Theodore Lidz, “Parental trust is particular important for it is critical to adolescents’ self-confidence and self-esteem, but the extent of the trust the parents can have and convey depends greatly on the mutuality between parents and child established before mid-adolescence” (p. 189). In a 2000 study conducted by Forrest and Tambor found that incarcerated male youths had significantly worse health status as demonstrated by poorer health and functioning scores in perceived well being, self-esteem, physical discomfort, acute, chronic, and psychosocial disorders, family involvement, physical activity, interpersonal problem-solving, risk behaviors, and academic performance (Forrest and Tambor, 2000, p. 1). Low Self-Esteem as an Underlying Cause There are two common treatments for low self-esteem: counseling and therapy. Though an underlying problem for many of the people who seek therapy and a central issue regarding most ...