CHILDREN’S EDUCATION:FROM A HOMESCHOOLING OUTLOOK
...ement of Children’s Mental Health, “…it is just as important for children to be able to form good relationships with their peers and teachers as it is to decode spelling words and master the use of a crayon or pencil” (Jensen, 2002). Perhaps the previously mentioned reason has supported the continuing increase in a parents’ decision to homeschool their children. Yet it still remains conventional to believe that only public schools offer a great deal about social expectations (Pfleger, 1998). The standards of behaviour, dress codes, etiquette and morality are most effectively reinforced through schooling. Contrary to this conviction, in a recent study done by Linh Nguyen (2005), all homeschooled students did not see regular school as the primary source for building these life skills. Only 27% of regular schooled students felt school is most effective in catering to these qualities, while 42% felt it is somewhat useful. Another falsehood dealing with a homeschooled student’s inability to mature ‘normally’, regards to his or her failure to develop the necessary social skills due to the lack of exposure. When a homeschooler provides the right environment for a child to prosper, this student will benefit and learn just as much as he or she would in a public school setting. Socialization, similar to learning, is a natural process; it occurs on a daily basis. For children who are in a classroom on a 6-hour, day-by-day basis, they are divided into strict age groups and forced to deal with their peers. This setting does not provide the appropriate environment for a child to progress. In a fairly dated article, though still applicable in today’s culture, it states: A wealth of research has established that one of a child’s primary need in these formative years is for an environment free of tasks that will tax his brain, and an equally important need is for a setting that provides warmth, continuity, and security. That normal school experience does not successfully meet these needs has been established by three different kinds of studies: those that compare early and later school entrants; those that explore important but little understood changes in the young child’s brain; and those that compare the effectiveness of parents and teachers in the development of young children. All three lines of investigation point to a common conclusion: early school, far from being the garden of delights its advocates claim, may actually be a damaging experience. (Dr. Raymond S. Moore and Dennis R. Moore, 1973) A homeschooled child will interact with people from different age groups and backgrounds. This child will be able to hold a real conversation with adults on numerous subjects and relate to the full spectrum of humanity, not just the children who happen to be born in the same year. All homeschooled students felt comfortable in conversing with people from a different age group, only 56% of the regular school students felt they had the courage (Nguyen, 2005). In relation, only 67% of the homeschooled students admitted to only have some friends of the same age group, while an astounding 82% confessed that most of the friends share a common age (Nguyen, 2005). (See Appendix A) With students attending public school, the concept of ‘over-socializing’ has yet to become a visible problem occurring in many households. In one instance, a wife and mother of four kids explains, “My sons would come home from school and immediately want to leave and go to a classmate’s home. I worried because they were becoming more and more outward-oriented. I felt like I was losing connections” (Barfield, 2002). This physical alienation can be found amongst many parents. Students, especially those in the teenage years, generally place friendship between peers as a higher priority than family relations (Nguyen, 2005). Nonetheless, homeschooling reinforces this diminishing parent-child connection. The communication between the homeschooler and student is constant and beneficial to the relationship outside of ‘school’ (the mother/father-child bond). In this type of household, being together as a family so often will bring out the best and worst of each member. Yet with the worst, forgiveness and mercy for each other’s inadequacy will bring future strength and growth. It is typical to find adolescences torn and stressed over the friends – and enemies – gained and lost in school. Though learning in school should be highly valued in school, many students find themselves pressured to be popular, to fit in and to be liked. The ‘peer dependence’ has brought many tough battles amongst youth and has caused much negative attitudes towards school in general. Homeschool students learn to become peer independent since they are not rigidly restricted to the defined age group that they are expected to interact with. In actuality, peer dependence is considered to be a mental illness according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association. In regards to life’s practical skills and knowledge, some may claim that school is the only way children can learn how to deal with peer pressure. However, the best solution to peer pressure is to have a keen sense of self-esteem. If a child is able to love and accept himself for who he is, then the chance of giving in to peer pressure is less likely to happen (Christy, date unknown). As an alternative to forcing a vulnerable child to deal with peer pressure, especially at the young age, a homeschooler is able to assist the child in developing the strength that is need to deal with this delicate issue. This can greatly increase a child’s self-esteem by allowing him to work at his own pace, be around the people who have faith in him and discover his own interests (Christy, date unknown). This self-discovery is harder to achieve, particularly in a highschool setting. According to a post-secondary student, who was homeschooled in the past, “…teens are most productive if they take a more relaxed pace.” When asked, “how do parents empower a young adult to go into life?” he simply stated that they have the influence to train him on how to live, help him find what he desires, and give him the courage to pursue just that. Through homeschooling, his parents enabled him to explore his freedom and in turn, he was able to gain a sense of what to expect of the world outside of the home (Barfield, 2002). Homeschooled students seem to have a different philosophy on education and school than most conventional students. For the previously stated student, he believes traditional schools take away power. He believes that “going to school doesn’t raise men, warriors who will fight and risk everything for a good cause. For every guy I know, purpose and significance are directly connected to what he’s willing to risk. Young men need help discovering their hearts, confronting their fears, and having the ability to make choices, even if it mean they’ll possibly fail. To deny failure and choices is to deny the ability to be real” (Barfield, 2002). Too easily realized by most homeschoolers, in the mainstream culture, socialized means ‘fitting in’ or being the same. It is simple for homeschoolers to teach their child the right set of values. In one case, a couple homeschooling their daughter, Emma, illustrates that “it is important for [her] to be learning that everyone is valuable: the local farmer, the old man down the road who sits and waves as we go by, the professor, the artist, the master, the little child…whatever that person chooses as a life path” (Barfield, 2002). As a more obvious solution to the socializing predicament, many homeschool students find themselves involved in many community activities, such as sports teams, volunteer work, neighbourhood games, youth groups and other church functions, all being excellent social outlets. These students are highly involved in such activities because they have the flexible schedule to do so (Barfield, 2002). Within these interests, the student is able to meet other people, some of who may share the same age. The simple proverb, ‘lead by example’, is possibly the most influential statement for a household containing children. This can also be said for a household choosing the path of homeschooling. Parents are the key role models in a child’s life. They way they interact and deal with certain situations will either add to the child’s repertoire of social skills or evolve him into a misshapen individual (Giannetti and Sagarese, 2001). This responsibility goes a long way; the homeschoolers must set examples to show exactly how to be social and also forgiving in wholesome ways. These values concerning issues such as behaviour will ultimately shape the child into a healthy, good citizen. In on situation, a homeschooler wishes to “provide the environment, time, and space for my sons to be themselves and learn to develop and walk in all of the gifts, talents and abilities God has put within them. I want them to become people of integrity and of godly character. Therefore, the hard lessons in life, plus what one can glean from the difficult, is as important as mastering, say, writing skills. Education to me envelops all of life and its experiences. Homeschooling allows the room and time to weave all this into academics” (Barfield, 2002). In cases where the home is the classroom, ...