Life As She Knows It
...e size of the house you live in. These ideas from the Spanish soap operas are attractive to Cleofilas because above all else, love matters most, “The beautiful Lucia Mendez having to put up with all kinds of hardships of the heart, separation and betrayal, and loving, always loving no matter what, because that is the most important thing” (44). Love is most important; however, loving one’s self is what is most important- not loving another after betrayal or abuse in a relationship. In addition, Cleofilas is drawn to telenovelas because it makes her feel better about her own situation with her relationship to Juan Pedro. She was stunned after the first time he slapped her; however, it wasn’t just one instance in carrying out these abusive actions. He injured her over and over again and she convinced herself that because Lucia’s character undergoes similar treatment from her own lovers, then all the pain and suffering is worthwhile, “One ought to live one’s life like that, don’t you think? You or no one. Because to suffer for love is good. The pain all sweet somehow. In the end” (45). Unfortunately, this belief never actually does make Cleofilas feel better and she eventually realizes this towards the end of the story. What she doesn’t take into consideration is that she might find these notions to be attractive because they are the only ones she has been exposed to. While growing up, she spent most of her life living with her father’s “complaints” and six “good-for-nothing” brothers (43). It seems Cleofilas was never taught about men and love because it appears she spent her young life mostly being around her male family members serving them. Therefore, she has learned all she has wanted to learn about men and love from telenovelas. In addition, she grew up with the knowledge of being the only daughter, “la consentida- the princess”, and so she may have idealized how she should be treated by other men (47). These notions of romantic love are dangerous for anyone. Suffering for love no matter what is not always good or rewarding, especially in Cleofilas’s case because Juan Pedro continually abuses her. However, “she could think of nothing to say, said nothing. Just stroked the dark curls of the man who wept and would weep like a child, his tears of repentance and shame, this time and each” (48). What she later comes to realize is that if she doesn’t leave him, one day it could be too late for her and she could wind up killed by his mistreatment. Her dreams of trying to live a telenovela lifestyle could not only be dangerous for her, but for her child as well. Cleofilas recalls the death by abuse from other women in the town’s newspapers and shutters at the thoughts, “Was Cleofilas just exaggerating as her husband always said? It seemed the newspapers were full of such stories” (52). She is in the same dangerous situation as those other women in her town were and she could end up just like they are now: dead. This is another example as to why suffering under any circumstance is not beneficial- even if the pain is because one wants to remain in one’s idealistic beliefs from telenovelas. Furthermore, Cleofilas deems the way the stores and businesses are placed in her town makes her feel like she has to “depend on [her] husband(s)” (50). She claims the buildings are not within walking distance; therefore, she would need her husband to drive her. This is risky for Cleofilas for the reason that she doesn’t recognize she does not have to depend on Juan Pedro; she just chooses to look at it as if she has to rely on him because she refuses to break herself from her situation since suffering “is good”. At the end of the story, a woman named Felice helps Cleofilas run away from Juan Pedro by driving her to San Antonio. The difference between Felice’s scream while going over Woman Hollering Creek and Cleofilas’s attempted scream is that Felice’s scream is liberating from the fictional ideas of romantic love, which leave women in a submissive role always waiting for their fairytale prince to come and rescue them. She doesn’t have a husband and nor does she feel like she needs a man. Moreover, Felice has her own pick-up truck and makes her own payments on it. It’s clear that Felice can take care of herself without harmful restraint, “When they drove across the arroyo, the driver [Felice] opened her mouth and let out a yell as loud as any mariachi. Which startled not only Cleofilas, but Juan Pedrito [the child] as well” (55). Felice doesn’t suffer in an unhealthy way because she doesn’t look to the life in telenovelas ...