Consultants
...t, go ahead and pick a sheep." The man picked one up and put it in the back of his SUV. The shepherd looked at him and asked, "If I can guess your profession correctly, will you return my animal to me?" The man answered, "Yes, why not?" The shepherd said, "You are a consultant". "How did you know?" asked the man. "Very simple," answered the shepherd: a.. "First, you came here without being called. b.. Second, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew, c.. Third, you don't understand anything about my business, Now can I have my DOG back?". There is a conspiracy afoot to get us to speak perfect English, going by the number of advertisements in the papers for English language training. To correct our voice and diction get our grammar straightened out, make our sentences march in neat little lines like soldiers. Basically to take the Indian out of our English. Please stop them, someone. Indian English has a masala not found in any other English in the world. I am lobbying to let it take its place as another kind of legitimate English, not as an incorrect version of real English. Like Indian food, Indian English has real flavour. Where else would they say things like: * Don't stand in front of my back. * A cow gives milk which we drink. Therefore it is our mother. * Who took the breeze out of my cykill? * Will you have some tea-shee? biscuit-viscuit? * Why aren't you kneel-downing? * Hurry-upping ma'am. * Open the windows and let the atmosphere come in. * Open the windows and let the Air Force come in. Or the gentleman on the flight who told the stewardess: "I am ve...