Mother Daughter Relationships in the Joy Luck Club
... Jing’s mother is aware of the separation between her daughter and herself. “You don’t even know little percent of me! How can you be me? And she’s right. How can I be my mother at Joy Luck (15)?” Jing feels resistant to take her mother’s place in the Joy Luck Club. She feels that she might not live up to her mothers’ expectations of her. She still has yet to realize that her mother always wanted to do what was best for her. Jing-Mei has lost her mother and also feels lost herself. She seems to regret that her and her mother never understood each other. Jing often thinks about the necklace that her mother gave to her and tries to make sense of it. She tries to think of what her mother had in mind when she gave it to her, but she is unable to. She knows that it is something that Chinese mothers sometimes give to their children, but she cannot see the meaning of it because she cannot identify with her Chinese culture at this point. Jing puts the necklace away after her mother first gives it to her. In,” The Red Candle,” painted a picture of Chinese culture in terms of marriage. Chinese girls knew who they would marry and had to be a part of their future husband’s family during childhood. At a young age they were sent to live with the family and marry shortly after. This is something that is unfamiliar to Americans, in general, and to the characters in this book. This is another area that causes a lack of communication between the mothers and the daughters. The mothers feel that the daughters do not appreciate what they have gone through so that they could have a better life and be able to marry for love. Jing’s piano recital is another example of the divide between her and her mother. Jing’s mother is very upset with her daughter for not playing well during the recital. Jing says, “I didn’t have to do what my mother said anymore. I wasn’t her slave. This wasn’t China (152).” Jing sees her mother disappointed and thinks that she wants to control her. Her mother is just concerned and wants her to fulfill her potential; she has her best interest in mind. This causes an identity issue for Jing, who wants to please her mother, but wants to be herself. In “The Moon Lady,” Ying-Ying rebels against the strict social rules that she was forced to obey. On this holiday she had to be dressed uncomfortably and have her hair done up tightly. She wanted to run around and play and when she gave into this desire she fell off of the boat. This is symbolic of her feeling trapped in her place in society. Even at a young age she realized what her role as a woman, but as soon as she rebelled against it she fell into the water and is abandoned. In traditional Chinese culture there was no room to rebel against the social rules. This is something that she wants her daughter to understand about her past. She tells her daughter this in order to show her the opportunities she has in life. In, “Without Wood,” the weeds in this chapter are symbolic of Rose’s self being silenced. Rose has not stood up for herself during her life and this is the result; an overgrown garden of regret. Rose’s mother, An-Mei told her, “A girl is like a young tree. You should stand tall and listen to your mother standing next to you. That is the only way to grow strong and straight. But if you bend to listen to other people, you will grow crooked and weak. You will fall to the ground with the first strong wind. And then you will be like a weed, growing wild in any direction, running along the ground until someone pulls you out and throws you away.” Rose has not listened to her mother much through out her life. Instead, she has listened to other people, who probably were not as wise as her mother. As a result of not being assertive and not letting her own needs and wants be known, people in her life took advantage of her, even her husband, Ted. Eventually, Rose does listen to her mother. She becomes more like the tree that her mother so wanted her to be, and stands up to Ted. By taking her mother’s advice she is able to be assertive and adds more wood to her character. Waverly goes to visit her mother shortly after her parents have Rich over for dinner. Waverly is upset at her mother’s comments about him and goes over with the intention of confronting her mother. In truth, she is going because Rich’s comments expose his complete lack of knowledge about Chinese culture and this upsets her. This reminds her of how she sometimes felt with her mother and she wants to feel a connection with her mother. That is why she is so upset when her mother is sleeping; she feels that maybe it might be too late in life to establish one. Even though there are many cultural differences between the generations, the daughters are able to identify with the mothers in the end. Jing-Mei goes to China and meets her sisters. She has “become Chinese.” Her journey ends here not only because she has found her sisters, but because she has found what it means to be Chinese. The other daughters in the Joy Luck Club have also identified with their mothers and their Chinese culture as well. In “Two Lies,” ...