Great decision
...lly make in effort into it. that I do not remember the moment I knew that I was different. There was not one moment in time, one significant minute where it dawned on me all at once. It was more gradual than that. I remember going into Kids R Us with my mother to buy new jeans and soon realizing that I would have to look in the boys section because I didn't fit into the girls' sizes. I remember noticing little fat pads on my chest that looked suspiciously like breasts as early as eight years old. I remember not being able to fit into my sister's hand-me-downs, even though she was two years older. I remember a beautiful, tall, thin girl in my 4th grade class laughing with her friends at the idea of what I must look like in a bathing suit. I started my first diet at ten years old. Deciding I was not like my friends were, and therefore not how I should be, I asked my mother how I could lose weight. It still surprises me how she so quickly agreed that I was in need of change, that my body was not good enough. I remember trying so hard to eat the food she prepared for dinner that night, fish, corn and water. "Fish because its so low in fat", she told me smiling. She seemed so pleased that I had finally come around, I was now finally seeing what she must have seen for months, that I was fat. I drowned my fish in ketchup trying to overpower it'spungent flavor. I can remember thinking to myself "this is how it has to be. This is how I will live." So for the next ten years of my life, I dieted in one form or another. While my friends were meeting at the pizza parlor, or eating cookies while watching cartoons, I was counting calories. I was holding my breath, and lying upside down on my bed just to squeeze my imperfect body into jeans that were too small. Decidi...