same sex parents
... of a child. Along with this generalisation, it seems that society is going to be more likely, although reluctant, to accept a lesbian couple bringing up a child before two gay men will be accepted in society to do the same thing. To firstly accept or reject same sex couples as being fit to raise a child, the roles that men and women play within a relationship as a child grows up must be explored. Working in the women’s favour is their seemingly natural skills and values as a nurturing mother. More Women than men also hold roles within society as paid professionals, as child care workers, nurses, carers, nannies and even babysitters, which also suggests it is more acceptable in society for a nurturing, caring women rather than a nurturing, caring man. This is not to say men do not have such traits. It is very possible for men to fulfil such a role, however stereotypically it is the women filling this role and the men take on a more masculine involvement in a child’s upbringing. So can society accept that in a same sex couple, a man will need to fill the role of the nurturing mother, or a woman will need to fill the shoes of a more masculine type role model? Or is it possible, perhaps, that the role not be filled, that a child can be brought up without one of these strong influences in their lives? There are many examples of this in society today, where a widow or widower is left to bring up a child or children, therefore lacking the strong influence of their father of mother respectively. In such cases, society not only continues to accept that family situation, it extends sympathy and support to those individuals. (Jureidini &Poole, 2003, pp90-1) Therefore, if society is willing to accept the fact that a child can be brought up without one parent in a previously heterosexual relationship, it is willing to acknowledge the absence of one particular role model is not vitally important to the health and wellbeing of that child. It would be safe to assume then, a same sex couple looking to raise a child, without one particular role model in the picture, would not only be accepted but supported within society. Why then, does society continue to frown upon same sex couples bringing up children? So far I have looked at the rights and responsibilities of the parents involved in that child’s life. What rights does the child have? According to many, a child has the right to a mother and father. If we are to assume that a child needs to have one mother and one father, then we can establish that same sex families are unacceptable. The issue of a child having the right to a parent of each sex is very contentious, with many arguing that same sex couples actually deprive the child the opportunity to have both a mother and a father. In any single parent family, there is always the possibility of a partner, parent of the child or not, to fill the role of the other parent. However, a same sex couple rules out the opportunity for that child to experience a very close relationship with a parent of the opposite sex. Similarly with a family with a widow or widower, the single parent situation is a product of misfortune rather than deprivation, and therefore cannot be seen as an infringement on a child’s rights. Widows and widowers did not choose to raise their children without the help of a partner of the opposite sex, whereas same sex couples choose to bring up their child without a partner of the opposite sex. The main question posed from this is “is it acceptable to choose not to bring up your child with a parent of both sexes?” Generally within society, it is not. We cannot simply choose to deprive a child of one of his or her simplest rights: the right to a mother and a father. When considering the possibility of same sex couples raising children, the child’s actual upbringing must also be explored. It is possible for a same sex couple to bring a child up successfully, however how does that child fit in with the rest of society, where such family dynamics are considered outside of the norms of their society. Will that child be excluded or ridiculed, teased and bullied because of the situation at home. Children are bullied for much less. Will a child feel safe and open in acknowledging that he or she has two mothers, or two fathers. Will that child’s friends accept that their friend has a gay or lesbian couple as parents. These questions will need to be addressed by the child and his parents, and it is argued that experiences such as these will be detrimental to a child’s social development. And who do we blame for these incidents? The same sex parents, who only want the best for their child, and in doing so, create an uphill battle for their children to fit in? Or do we blame the child’s friends for being bullies? Can we blame society, for failing to accept same sex couples as a part of everyday life and teaching the children of society that gays and lesbians are not normal people? We can point fingers all day, but in the end, the situation does not change. We have a child struggling to fit into society because his or her parents have chosen to raise their child as part of a same sex family. (Juriedini & Poole, 2003, pp133-4) & (Jacobs, S., 2004) We must also consider the child’s sexuality. It could be possible that a child’s sexuality is affected by the str...