reflective essay
...e of delicate, frail glass and that someone had just dropped it, causing it to shatter. With bits flying in every which way, the pieces of my heart lay smashed, there on the cold flooring of the hospital room. In that very instant, my mind went blank. I couldn’t even think. My heart felt as though it was in my throat, and if I were to even try to clear the blockage then I would’ve broke down in tears. “You could do this,” I thought. So I took a deep breath and blinked my tears away. The first thing I did was took a seat followed by a deep inhale. I did not want to get to close, for I was too intimidated and did not know what to do, or what to think, or what to say. My grandma was talking to us for the most part, as I was trying to focus on my Pop so hard but I just couldn’t bear to look at him in the condition he was in. The expression on his face looked as though he were in complete shock, with one side of his mouth pulled back like he had a fishing hook caught in his cheek. There were needles inserted in different parts of his arms and dark bruises from taking so many tests. He said it bothered him to speak. “I can’t do this,” I thought to myself. I was extremely nervous when I was looking at him while other family members were trying to converse. I never realized how hard it was to look at someone you love, and see their pain reflecting right through their eyes. Poppy wasn’t himself; he seemed slower than usual and in a complete state of shock. It seemed as though he did not want to look me in the eye, either; not in the shape he was in. He didn’t even want us seeing him like this. I then forced myself to get up and sit at the edge of his bed, my hand immediately finding his. His grip was so strong, and so comforting, and he used his other hand to gently move up and down my back, a sign showing that he was there and that he was going to be alright. My Poppy is always there, holding me when I feel the least bit uncomfortable and, right then, I just needed to feel that reassuring touch of his. Poppy definitely saw that I was upset, so I tried my hardest not to reveal my true feelings. My eyes, resembling something quite like a swimming pool, began filling up with teardrops and as I looked the other way to try and not blink the tears out of my eyes, I just couldn’t. “I love you,” I whispered quietly, trying to fight the tears that were moments away from streaming down my cheeks. Seeing that I was not alright and really could not control the emotions that my heart truly felt, Grandma offered my sister and me to go for a walk. I quickly consented. After out brief conversation on the positive aspects of the situation, I began to prepare myself for when I would re-enter the room. Since now I knew what to expect and knew just ...