Losing and Learning in the novel 'Maestro'
...d an individual. Unlike Paul who jumped at the first chance he could get to hang with the ‘popular’ group. So when Paul tries to tell Bennie that “they’re not my (his) friends. It’s just…’ He (Bennie) slammed the door in my (Paul’s) face, and I (he) was left with no one to convince except my(him)self: a much easier task…than trying to convince him (Bennie)” (p85). Trying to convince yourself you’re not following the crowd, as Goldsworthy demonstrated, is much easier then convincing those who are hurt by your actions. It is at this moment that Paul is given the lesson of individuality, though he doesn’t learn it quite yet. Jimmy Papas was the school tough and like Scotty’s henchman, and it is through his power and dominance that Paul learns this lesson. When Jimmy comes to ‘warn’ Paul he decides not to beat him, yet Paul can’t keep his mouth shut and it is through this stupidity that Paul is beaten. It is through this fight that Paul learns both a good and a bad lesson. He learns to lie, first to his mother and then to his father. It is also through this lesson that Paul learns, as Keller has said before, that sometimes silence is the sweetest music. Megan Murray was the “haloed vision” (p32), the perfect girl and it is through this supposed ‘perfection’ that Paul learns this personal lesson. Some time after Paul’s rejection he finds himself viewing Rosie Zollo in a different light and they begin to go out. Even after Paul finds contentment in Rosie he has sexual intercourse with Megan, a disappointment to Paul, “She was too selfish, I (Paul) realised later. Too used to being desired, to never having to involve herself in any real way” (p80). After this incident Paul doesn’t feel guilty but terrified, “Terrified that I (Paul) might lose her (Rosie)” (p81). It is at this moment that Paul tells Rosie of his love, which from that moment on was absolute truth, and that he would never love anyone else. So it is through his desire for Megan that he learns the difference between love and lust, and also slightly how to understand that truth of this love. Paul’s musical losses are also able to be grouped. Paul, despite his inability to win competitions or play as well as he’d like to always finds excuses, a popular one seems to be the instruments he plays aren’t good enough for him. Yet when he joins a rock band he I easily able to see that they won’t be able to go too far, and “a foreshadowing of the break-up of the band even before it had played” (p108) fell upon them. Yet when it comes to his own personal music he is unable to perceive the truth of his playing and while he can easily leave the rock “world of squalid, foolish dreams” (p109) he can’t except that his own dreams are false as well. Yet this breaking of the band does teach him to start to accept this reality. Even in Vienna Paul failed to see the waste he was making of his life. Even through the losses it took time for him to fully understand. Though he spent his time in Europe “stranded between one competition and the next” (p131) he kept believing it wasn’t his fault and accepted the excuses that Rosie sent him. It is through a different type of music, a discussion of music, that Paul starts to learn this important lesson. When talking to Henisch, a cello player, Paul finds that the Keller he is talking about and the Keller Henisch is talking about are actually two different people, in a sense. While this may not have much to with Paul’s playing it does show Paul learning that accept that perhaps he is wrong, that “perhaps I (he) was mistaken” (p140), to accept that he might not be all-knowing. Another musical lesson and loss is to do with the maestro. Paul always felt like Keller was holding him back and was never satisfied, and at times “the injustice of it all overwhelmed me (him). Tears seeped from my (his) eyes, a lump clogged my (his) throat” (p12). Yet what Paul couldn...