Mars and Venus on a Date
...easy for a women to misinterpret a man’s interest and experience repeated frustration and disappointment. Often a man will suddenly become physically attracted to a woman and then just as quickly lose interest. “He is like a blowtorch that can heat up really fast and then turn off in an instant. This Martian tendency is easily misinterpreted because women are not like blowtorches. Women are like ovens. They slowly heat up and slowly cool off” (J. Gray – 194). A woman assumes that if a man is physically attracted to her, he is also interested in pursuing a relationship with her. “She confuses his attention, interest, and attraction with affection or love. When this ‘love’ is not lasting and he quickly loses interest, a woman can easily feel disappointed and unnecessarily begin to mistrust men” (H. Cloud – 1). Unless she learns how men and women think and feel differently, she may become closed to men and thus limit her chances of finding the right man for her. Without this crucial understanding, dating for many women is a very dissatisfying and discouraging experience. Certainly when a man is attentive to a woman, he could also be interested in having a relationship with her, but quite often he is not that discerning. “To a certain extent, when he is enamored of a woman, he just likes what he sees and he wants to touch” (D. Barry – 1). Then he behaves in ways that most women mistakenly assume to be clear signs and signals that he is interested in having a relationship. Without even considering what kind of person a woman is, a man can feel a strong, passionate desire to be with her. Then, once he gets to know her, he may find that he doesn’t even like her, nor is he interested in getting to know her better. Yet when he sees her he feels a strong physical chemistry and will do almost anything for the opportunity to be with her, impress her, and make her happy. As he gets to know her, his interest and affection may quickly dissipate. “This is known as the morning-after syndrome. One day she is beautiful and radiant in every way; the next day, after a closer look, her toes are too big” (J. Gray – 196). Once a man gets to know a woman, his passion dissolves, he finds something wrong with her or realizes that she is not the one for him, and he moves on. He has no idea that she thinks they are about to get married. Anyone on his planet would know that he was just physically attracted, but someone from Venus could easily misunderstand his intentions and think he was promising much more. What makes a woman so special? There is something special about every woman, but what makes a woman more special to a particular man is the special chemistry he feels for her. This chemistry cannot be created. It either exists or doesn’t exist. A woman first feels that she is special to a man when he feels physically attracted to her. “A woman must remember that she is not that special, because there are a lot of women to whom a man can feel physically attracted” (H. Cloud – 1). It is a good beginning, but it doesn’t necessarily mean anything more. To him, in that moment, she may be the ultimate woman of his dreams. In this case, he may believe and behave as though he were in love with who she is, but only time will tell, by giving him an opportunity to get to know her. A woman becomes more special to a man when he finds that not only is he physically attracted to her, but he also likes her. There are many women to whom he can be physically attracted, but only a smaller group with whom he can also be friends. A woman becomes even more special to him when he also finds that he is mentally attracted to who she is as a person. There are only a few women for whom he can feel all three levels of chemistry. She becomes still more special when he is able to see her as an imperfect person but also lovable. Even at difficult times in their relationship, when he is not getting what he needs from her, he is able to still see the good in her and feel his love for her. This kind of unconditional love makes her very special. Then, within this very small and special group, his soul picks one to share his life. It is then that a woman is most special to a man. What makes a man so special? A man becomes more special to a woman in a reverse manner. She is first mentally attracted to him. She looks at some aspect of which he is and what he is doing with his life and feels some chemistry. This is the largest group of men from which she picks. Then she finds that some men are more special. She begins to feel emotional chemistry; she begins to feel affection for a man and like him as a friend as well. While there may be many men with whom she feels mental chemistry, there are fewer men who cause her to feel emotional chemistry. At this point, she may discover that she also feels a physical attraction. It might happen slowly or it might happen very suddenly. Quite often, it happens when he gives her a kiss. That one little gesture of affection can suddenly make it clear to her that he is more special. When a shy man postpones the kiss, it may actually postpone or even prevent a woman from feeling her physical chemistry f...