My Dream House
Mr. Preston Builds His Dream House In every man's life there comes a time when he wants to settle down. Instead Calvin decided to build a house. It began simply enough with his engagement to Katrina. “Mr. Preston, it's Katrina on the phone,” Darlene's voice blared out of his intercom. “Thanks, Darlene. By the way we're getting married soon. I'm giving her a cubic zucchinium engagement ring tonight.” “Congratulations, Mr. Preston. That's a big decision.” “Well, I'm not doing it willingly. I was caressed into it.” Months later Calvin was talking to a contractor about building a new house for his bride. “Come here and look at the architect's drawing and I'll show you where to make the alternations,” Calvin said. “Over here will be the bathroom. I want glass brick with lights on the floor here. No telling what lurks behind the toilet. Over there will be the bedroom, the room where . . . ” - at this point Calvin patted his hand and fist together to indicate sexual intercourse - “takes place, pardon the expression.” Christina was in the other room watching her favorite TV show and Calvin called to her to turn down the volume. “That was Moe, Larry, and Joe, the Three Stooges,” Calvin said as he told the contractor goodbye. Just then his good friend Charlie stopped by after his golf game. “Hey, Chuck, I see you've been out on the golf coast.” “Yeah, Calvin, I was playing golf over at Hillcrest.” “I remember when we played it last week, Chuck, it was so hilly I was on a cline all day.” “That's the one. So why didn't you come today, Cal, we waited for you.” “I had to take my son to the hospital.