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"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet." "I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets." "If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either." "Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff." "Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die." "You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest." "My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden." "Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!" "Women should be obscene and not heard." "I must confess, I was born at a very early age." "A man's only as old as the woman he feels." "Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?" "Money couldn't buy you friends, but you get a better class of enemy." "I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it ." "Some people are afraid of heights.
Approximate Word count = 784
Approximate Pages = 3.1
(250 words per page double spaced)
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