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JUDGMENTAL LANGUAGE: 1.) Hierarchy a. Definition Hierarchy is a rating system created in the mind of the sender. The sender creates an imaginary system by which they determine another persons worth. This illusion in the mind of the sender enables them with feelings of superiority over whom they decide is inferior to them. b. Example A man tells his girlfriend that she is the only one for her. c. Application The woman when hearing that she is the “only one,” might take this to mean that she is the exclusive one. She may start to believe that this statement means monogamy and faithfulness. The sender creates the hierarchy; the receiver buys in and starts to set up expectations. There is an option for the receiver not to buy in and opt out of the judgmental language. 2.) Maintain a. Definition Maintaining the idea of superiority over another person is achieved when the receiver buys into the belief that he or she is inferior to the sender. Once this happens the receiver begins to set up expectations of the sender. b. Example I had a boss once who would try to sabotage my work so he could take credit for fixing the screw-ups. He would throw away my processing sheets and not forward my messages to me. c. Application His constant attempts at ruining me were an effort to win the love and affection of the office manager. He would go to her and complain about how hard he had it working with me and how the business would fail if not for him. For a short while I started to doubt myself and buy into the belief that I was lousing things up. I soon realized what was going on and chose to opt out of the buy in. 3.) Arbitrary Standards a. Definition Arbitrary standards are when the sender creates the standard; the receiver has to buy in to the standard. Then the receiver begins to set up his own expectation, then when the standard is met in the mind of the receiver. Then the sender changes the standard. b. Example My father said that if I would go to college, he would pay for my books. He said it was that important to him.
Approximate Word count = 1493
Approximate Pages = 6
(250 words per page double spaced)
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