stupid white men
Stupid White Men and Other Sorry Excuses for the State of the Nation Michael Moore Copyright © 2001 by Michael Moore. ... A man no one elected sits in the White House. ... Youre working two jobs, and so is your wife, and youve got little Jimmy working down at McDonalds, too, so you can afford that new home on the treelined street with neatly trimmed lawns and little white picket fences, and-look, there goes Spot to greet Grandpa as he pulls into the driveway! ... Three little words: Stupid White Men. ... This Stupid White Virus is so powerful it has even infected ringers like Colin Powell, Interior Secretary Gale Norton, and National Security Adviser Condoleeza Rice. ... Eight months after the election, deep into 2001, a Fox News poll announced that nearly 60 percent of the American public had NOT gotten over how Bush took the White Housethat were still "angry. ... Stupid White Men ONE A Very American Coup THE FOLLOWING MESSAGE WAS INTERCEPTED BY U. ... Old white men wielding martinis and wearing dickies have occupied our nations capital. ... But because this coup was wrapped in an American flag, delivered in your choice of red, white, or blue, those responsible believe theyre going to get away with it. ... Can we ever again send our sons off into battle to give their lives defending "our way of life"--when all that really means is the lifestyle of the gray old men holed up in the headquarters they seized by the Potomac? ... In the summer of 1999 Katherine Harris, an honorary Stupid White Man who was both George W. ... And sadly (though Im confident that Floridas justice system was always unimpeachably fair), that means 31 percent of all black men in Florida are prohibited from voting because they have a felony on their record. ... When the Democrats complained that ballots that didnt follow the rules shouldnt be counted, the Republicans launched a fierce public relations campaign to make it look as if the Democrats were trying to screw the men and women who were risking their lives for our country. ... " Republican Congressman Steve Buyer from Indiana even obtained (possibly illegally) the phone numbers and E-mail addresses of military personnel so that he could gather tales of ballot-denial woe to garner sympathy for "our fighting men and women. ... Dark clouds obscured the sun, and the parade route, usually jammed with tens of thousands of citizens all the way to the White House, was eerily bare. ... The Secret Service agents running beside the limo were left behind, the cars tires splashing dirty rain from the street onto the men who were there to protect its passenger. ... Once the American Lie put the pedal to the metal, it ran for cover to the bulletproof reviewing stand in front of the White House. ... " There were plenty of hired hands to be installed in the White House, pulling the strings for their puppet President. ... Cheney has had his hand in all of the recent Republican administrations, including that of Richard Nixon, when he was deputy White House counsel under Don "Rummy" Rumsfeld. ... He was White House counsel to Richard Nixon, where he worked alongside Dick Cheney. ... White House Chief of Staff - Andrew H. ... Since Rove took the job at the White House, he has been under constant fire for using his position to further the interests of companies in which he owns stock. ... These Stupid White Men must be stopped. I have informed Kofi Annan of the various locations where these (mostly) men can be found and apprehended by U. ... All those men roaming around the White House-Dick, Rummy, Colin--not a single one is a pal of yours! ... You have: * Cut $39 million from federal spending on libraries * Cut $35 million in funding for advanced pediatric training for doctors * Cut funding for research into renewable energy sources by 50 percent * Delayed rules that would reduce "acceptable" levels of arsenic in drinking water * Cut funding for research into cleaner, more efficient cars and trucks by 28 percent * Revoked rules strengthening the power of the government to deny contracts to companies that violate federal laws, environmental laws, and workplace safety standards * Allowed Secretary of the Interior Gale Norton to request suggestions for opening up national monuments for foresting, coal mining, and oil and gas drilling * Broken your campaign promise to invest $100 million per year in rain forest conservation * Reduced by 86 percent the Community Access Program, which coordinated care for people without health insurance among public hospitals, clinics, and other health care providers * Nullified a proposal to increase public access to information about the potential ramifications of chemical plant accidents * Cut funding for the Girls and Boys Clubs of America programs in public housing by $60 million * Pulled out of the 1997 Kyoto Protocol agreement on global warming, ultimately signed by 178 other countries * Rejected an international accord to enforce the 1972 treaty banning germ warfare * Cut $200 million from workforce training programs for dislocated workers * Cut $200 million from the Childcare and Development grant, a program that provides child care to low-income families as they are forced from welfare to work * Eliminated prescription contraceptive coverage to federal employees (though Viagra is still covered) * Cut $700 million in funds for public housing repairs * Cut half a billion dollars from the Environmental Protection Agencys budget * Overturned workplace ergonomic rules designed to protect workers health and safety * Abandoned your campaign pledge to regulate carbon dioxide emissions, a major contributor to global warming * Prohibited any federal aid from going to international family planning organizations that provide abortion counseling, referrals, or services with their own funds * Nominated former mining company executive Dan Lauriski as Assistant Secretary of Labor for Mine Safety and Health * Appointed Lynn Scarlett, a global warming skeptic and an opponent of stricter standards on air pollution, as Undersecretary of the Interior * Approved Interior Secretary Gale Nortons controversial plan to auction off areas close to Floridas eastern shore for oil and gas development * Announced your plans to allow oil drilling in Montanas Lewis and Clark National Forest * Threatened to shut down the White House AIDS office * Decided no longer to seek guidance from the American Bar Association on federal judicial appointments * Denied college financial aid to students convicted of misdemeanor drug charges (though convicted murderers are still eligible for financial aid) * Allocated only 3 percent of the amount requested by Justice Department lawyers in the governments continued litigation against tobacco companies * Pushed through your tax cut, 43 percent of which goes to the wealthiest 1 percent of Americans * Signed a bill making it harder for poor and middle-class Americans to file for bankruptcy, even when facing overwhelming medical bills * Appointed affirmative action opponent Kay Cole James to direct the Office of Personnel Management * Cut $15. ... I see their children being raised by Haitian immigrants, and I watch them pass by the Invisible Men who clean the grouting on the marble floors without saying a word, always in a hurry to get to wherever theyre going-most likely to reduce your insurance benefits or put your workplace on the chopping block. ... Theyve thrown up the white flag; theyre surrendering their efforts to get the rich to pay their taxes. ... Unlike the massive layoffs of the eighties, which were all but ignored by those who went to good colleges and made good money, the layoff massacres today are mostly white-collar and professional. ... FOUR Kill Whitey I DONT KN0W what it is, but every time I see a white guy walking toward me, I tense up. ... Didnt I notice the suspicious gangs of white people lurking on every street comer, drinking Starbucks and wearing their gang colors of Gap Turquoise or J. ... Now the white person is coming closer, closer-and then-whew! ... White people scare the crap out of me. This may be hard for you to understand-- considering that I am white-but then again, my color gives me a certain insight. ... You can take my word for it: if you find yourself suddenly surrounded by white people, you better watch out. ... As white people, weve been lulled into thinking its safe to be around other white people. ... Every person who has ever harmed me in my lifetime-the boss who fired me, the teacher who flunked me, the principal who punished me, the kid who hit me in the eye with a rock, the other kid who shot me with his BB gun, the executive who didnt renew TVNation, the guy who was stalking me for three years, the accountant who double-paid my taxes, the drunk who smashed into me, the burglar who stole my stereo, the contractor who overcharged me, the girlfriend who left me, the next girlfriend who left even sooner, the pilot of the plane I was on who hit a truck on the runway (he probably hadnt eaten in days), the other pilot who decided to fly through a tornado, the person in the office who stole checks from my checkbook and wrote them out to himself for a total of $16,000-- every one of these individuals has been a white person! ... " I dont think Im the only white guy who can make these claims. ... " The article went on to discuss a dispute that has arisen between the men who claim credit for making the first bomb. Frankly, I could have cared less-because I already know the only pertinent answer: "IT WAS A WHITE GUY! ... No, my friends, its always the white guy. ... A white guy. ... White guys. ... White men. ... White men. ... A white man. ... That guy really gave white people a bad name (thats why we prefer to call him a Nazi and his little helpers Germans). ... White man. ... White CEOs. ... Some friggin white guy, and if I find him, hes a dead white guy. You name the problem, the disease, the human suffering, or the abject misery visited upon millions, and Ill bet you ten bucks I can put a white face on it faster than you can name the members of N Sync. ... Black men alleged to be killing, raping, mugging, stabbing, gangbanging, looting, rioting, selling drugs, pimping, ho-ing, having too many babies, dropping babies from tenement windows, fatherless, motherless, Godless, penniless. ... I believe weve become so used to this image of the black man as predator that we are forever ruined by this brainwashing, In my first film, Roger & Me, a white woman on Social Security clubs a bunny rabbit to death so that she can sell him as "meat" instead of as a pet. ... Weve become so accustomed to seeing black men killed-in the movies and on the evening news-that we now accept it as standard operating procedure. ... " Ask any white person who they fear might break into their home or harm them on the street, and if theyre honest, theyll admit that the person they have in mind doesnt look much like them. ... Are white peoples brains hardwired to see one thing but believe the opposite because of race? If thats the case, then do all white people suffer from some shared low-grade mental illness? ... Are white people who see black boogeymen around every corner any different? Obviously, no matter how many times their fellow whites make it clear that the white man is the one to fear, it simply fails to register. Every time you turn on the TV to news of another school shooting, its always a white kid whos conducting the massacre. Every time they catch a serial killer, its a crazy white guy. Every time a terrorist blows up a federal building, or a madman gets four hundred people to drink Kool-Aid, or a Beach Boys songwriter casts a spell causing half a dozen nymphets to murder "all the piggies" in the Hollywood Hills, you know its a member of the white race up to his old tricks. ... Why arent we worried sick about our daughters marrying white guys? ... A survey published in the Washington Post in July 2001 showed that 40 to 60 percent of white people thought the average black person had it as good or better than the average white person. ... Clingaman, the average income for a black American is 61 percent less per year than the average white income. ... Consider the following: * About 20 percent of young black men between the ages of sixteen and twentyfour are neither in school nor workingcompared with only 9 percent of young white men. ... * In 1993, white households had invested nearly three times as much in stocks and mutual funds and/or IRA and Keogh accounts as black households. ... Black and white doctors together referred white patients for catheterization about 40 percent more often than black patients. ... * Black women are four times more likely than white women to die while giving birth. ... So how have we white people been able to get away with this without all ending up like Reginald Denny? (The white truck driver who was dragged from his rig and beaten nearly to death by blacks during the LA riots in 1992. ... They got the crappiest jobs (those advertised for NEGROES ONLY), and we made it clear that if you werent white you were going to be paid a lower wage. ... So white people got smart and took down the signs, stopped lynching black men who might have stopped on the street to talk with our women, passed a bunch of civilrights laws, and ceased saying words like nigger in public. ... When we walk out to pick up the paper in the morning, we look one way down the street and see white people; look the other way, and guess what?--more white people! ... We co-opt it, put it through a white blender, and make it ours. ... , where it withdrew and made way for the Great White Pop Stars. ... Weve been very generous in turning over all that hard work and training and exertion to young black men, because lets face it, its more fun to sit in your La-Z-Boy eating chips and dip and watching them chase that ball. ... How did the white people out there keep the one million black citizens of Los Angeles county hidden from my view? ... For once Id like to walk onto an airplane and see it filled with only black passengers instead of a bunch of complaining white jerks who feel a sense of entitlement in demanding that I give up my lap so they can put their seat in it. ... Its not the white skin color of others that gives me the creeps. What galls me is that my fellow white people have become so conniving theyve figured out a way to turn black people into white people! When I first heard Clarence Thomas speak I thought, "For crying out loud, dont white people have enough people already?" Now the airwaves are filled with blacks who are trotted out to push the white agenda. ... They speak out against homosexuals, even though AIDS has devastated black gay men more than any other group. ... You can almost hear the groans of white America whenever you bring up the fact that we still suffer from the impact of a governmentapproved and supported slave system. ... riots began in 1992, when the mayhem had spread into the white neighborhoods near Beverly Hills and Hollywood, white people went into urgent survival mode. ... I went out on the street, and what I saw I believe (and hope) I may never see again-tens of thousands of white people running down the sidewalks to get the next commuter train or bus out of town. ... What he had in mind-like everyone who was running to catch the last train home to the white suburbs-was the fact that our race problem has never really been solved, and that black America was harboring a lot of pent-up anger over the incredible disparity between the lives of blacks and whites in this country. ... SURVIVAL TIPS FOR WHITE AMERICA 1. ... Im done hiring white people. ... But they are white. ... By giving jobs to white people--for many of them, their first job in this medium--Ive enabled them to go on and have successful careers on shows like Politically Incorrect, Dharma and Greg, David Lettermans show, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, and more. ... The more I think about it, white employees can be a lot of trouble. Right now, the white person in the office next to me is playing an Eagles CD. ... And you better not send me some white guy, or Ill have him fetching me burgers and scrubbing my toilet. ... Our lone white receptionist will be happy to answer any questions you may have. ... Yet without them to do the hard labor, white society would be crippled. ... The vast majority of guns in America are purchased and owned-that is, introduced into society-by white people. Each year about 500,000 guns are stolen, mostly from these same white people in the suburbs. ... These white guns have caused an enormous amount of death and suffering among African-Americans. ... Black men between the ages of fifteen and twenty-four are almost six times more likely to be shot to death than white men in that same age group. ... To introduce guns into this volatile environment-which we white people have done little to improve-is a deadly proposition. So if youre white, and youd like to help reduce the number one cause of death among young black men, heres the answer: Dont buy a gun. ... If it did, then we could just mix and mingle however we saw fit-as equals, the way we already do with other white people. ... The next time youre talking to one of your "black friends," instead of telling him how youre really "down" with the new Jay-Z CD, why not put your arm around him and say, "I love ya, bro, you know that, so I gotta tell you a little secret we white people have: Your people arent ever going to have it as good as we do. ... If youre white, and you really want to help change things, why not start with yourself? ... Stop the next white person you hear make a stupid racist comment and set him straight. ... Your only duty is to hold it open for those who have less of a chance simply because they arent white. ... If youre white and you dont like any of the above ideas, or you think theyre impractical, then theres always one surefire way to help create a colorblind world--marry a black person and have yourselves some babies! ... Driving While Black: * Make yourself a less likely target for drive-by racial profiling by placing a lifesize, inflatable white doll in the passenger seat (the kind people use so they can drive in carpool-only express lanes). ... Sure, you might be subjected to the occasional body cavity search, but thats a small price to pay to exercise your God-given right as a black American to buy stuff and contribute some of the $572 billion in your pockets that goes to the white economy every year. ... ) Dont tell too many white people about this one-the idea of a "Black House" might really spook them out! ... I once heard the linguist and political writer Noam Chomsky say that if you want proof the American people arent stupid, just turn on any sports talk radio show and listen to the incredible retention of facts. ... A nation that not only churns out illiterate students BUT GOES OUT OF ITS WAY TO REMAIN IGNORANT AND STUPID is a nation that should not be running the world-at least not until a majority of its citizens can locate Kosovo (or any other country it has bombed) on the map. ... I visited a school recently, and some students asked me if I noticed that they and the other students in the school were all wearing white or some neutral color. ... Form your own party, With its own stupid name. ... A tired seamstress and local civil rights activist in Montgomery, Alabama, Rosa Parks, refused to give up her seat on a bus to a white passenger. ... One night, coming home late from work, I witnessed the garbage men tossing those earnestly clear blue garbage bags full of glass into their trucks crusher along with all the other garbage. ... " In another instance, a magazine in San Francisco contracted with a paper recycler to pick up all its white waste paper each month. ... The day it died I was broke and on unemployment and stuck in the middle of Pennsylvania Avenue about four blocks from the White House. ... In their study, requested by the Bush 11 White House, the group of eleven leading atmospheric scientists (including several who were previously skeptical about the scope of the problem) concluded that human activity is largely responsible for the warn-ling of the earths atmosphere-- and that were in serious trouble as a result. ... If you think about it, the Confederacy has finally won the Civil War--a long-awaited victory won by luring stupid Yankees down there with a promise of 5,000 BTUs and a built-in icemaker. ... After all, hundreds of years ago the Indian dumped their refuse into the Hudson, and the early white settlers used the river as a nonstop sewage drain. ... Once the little buggers are released from the beef youve ingested, they spread like an army of Pac Men, heading straight for your brain and devouring everything in sight. ... SEVEN The End of Men EARLIER THIS YEAR, my wife and I attended the baptism of our new nephew, Anthony. ... About halfway through the service, Father Andy asked the entire extended family to gather round the big baptismal font while little Anthony Proffer was submerged in the holy water and then wrapped in a pure white garment. ... I have lived my entire life in households where men were decidedly in the minority. ... 2 for men. ... What have we men done to deserve this? ... If we men had any sense, wed try to get Nature to forgive us by cleaning up our act. ... I mean, here we are, the minority, and yet we men have ruled over the female majority since time immemorial. ... * 496 of the top 500 companies in America are run by men. ... * Womens earnings average 76 cents for every $1 earned by men-resulting in a lifetime loss of over $650,133. ... Contrary to popular myth, it is men who are the weaker sex. ... * Men are more likely to carry sexually transmitted diseases (which they pass on to their unsuspecting wives and girlfriends). ... * Men are unable to give birth, to keep the species going. * Men lose their hair. * Men lose their minds (were four times more likely to attempt suicide than women). * Men are three times more likely to die in an accident than women. * Men are just not as smart as women: girls generally score higher than boys on the elementary school tests-and face it, we dont get any smarter with age. ... So men ended up like Chevys, rushed off the assembly line and guaranteed to break down after limited use. ... Saddled with the odds against us, some men have simply gone insane and taken to fighting back any way they can. ... These days, the tendency of men to injure, maim, or murder women is seen by most as "politically incorrect," and laws have been strengthened to protect women from us. But as we know, laws are only made to exact punishment after a crime has been committed, Few laws have stopped those men who are intent on wreaking their vengeance on women. ... Men gifted with more subtlety often resort to means other than outright murder to even the score between men and women. For instance, the tobacco companies (all run by men) have been extremely successful in convincing women to smokeat a time when the number of male smokers is declining. ... Denial of treatment is another trick men employ in paring down the female population. ... Men suffering from heart disease are 115 percent more likely to undergo a heart bypass than women with the same condition. And if youre a woman, youre more likely to pay higher insurance premiums than men for this shoddy care. ... HOW MEN CAN AVOID EXTINCTION As bad as the future looks for us, there is some hope that we, as men, can delay our demise-if we learn to adopt some very important new behaviors. ... Why do you think so many of us men get colon and stomach cancer and liver disease? ... But what would you say if I told you that letting them worry about building that nuclear plant in Bahrain, or declaring war against China, or finding a solution to the continuing abuse of the infield fly rule, would give us men eight more years of life? ... If we men could only get our act together and change a few simple things, wed immediately score more empathy and companionship. ... The best way to help women is to work on your fellow men. ... If you convince the other men on the job to unionize the establishment, then youll have greatly improved your female coworkers lives, and your own. HOW WOMEN CAN SURVIVE WITHOUT MEN 1. ... Santa Monica, CA 90046 323-650-1022 Xandria 1210 Valencia Street San Francisco, CA 94110 415-974-8980 Chapter 7 notes 7-147 How to Trick Nature into Making More Men * A company in Virginia has developed a method that allows you to choose the gender of your baby. ... * Call the local fire department and get your name placed on the special "bastard" list-the roster of local men who believe they stand the best chance of being eliminated by a. ... And the doubters and naysayers who abound in oppressed countries may catch on that just the three richest men in America own more personal assets than the combined assets owned by the entire populations of the sixty poorest countries. ... Joyfully and willingly keeping ourselves as stupid as possible about what is happening beyond the ChemLawn in the front yard. ... Apparently its too much fun continuing this stupid soap opera over a wedge of land you can cross in the time it takes to get from Oakland to San Francisco in rush hour. ... And after the Pope dies, no messy elections--a couple hundred guys wearing red gather in a room, vote, and a puff of white smoke out of the chimney tells everyone the decision has been made. ... --The President of the United States (POTUS) rises, checks to see if he is still in White House. ... --POTUS leaves Oval, Office to go work out in White House gym. ... --POTUS goes for swim in White House pool. ... --POTUS goes to White House screening room; watches Dave (again); falls asleep. ... Two men demanded that she open the door and let them in. ... It doesnt take much to figure out why the drug of choice in the white community is treated with so much more leniency than the drug that constitutes the only affordable high in the poor black and Hispanic community. ... Trust me, you wont see Karl Rove convening a White House meeting to figure out a way to lock up and strip the voting rights from a million members of the Christian Coalition. ... After all, both men were black; they were both the same age--they even shared a birthdate! ... Well, this is America, and I guess if its good enough to remove thousands of innocent black men from the voting rolls in Florida, it should be good enough to railroad an innocent black man in Los Angeles. ... Our judges and lawyers are more like glorified garbage men, rounding up and disposing of societys refuse--ethnic cleansing, American style. ... The American public is not stupid, and now that the truth has been coming out about the innocent people who have been sent to death row, they are at least responding with a sense of shame. ... Fifty percent agreed that a black person is more likely than a white person to receive the death penalty for the same crime. ... You, the people, never knew about it, never complained to the White House that you hate drinking all this arsenic-and the industries that are responsible for much of that arsenic are some of the same people who funded Gores campaign. ... Sad to say, but it was having a prick, not a slick, in the White House that made this happen. ... Bill after bill that came from the Bushoccupied White House to the Congress found scores of Democrats with open arms. ... Word came from the White House that now there was nothing wrong with "certain" stem cell research. ... Cheney quietly halts any antigay initiatives that may come from the White House. ... " After all, history tells us that God enjoys a good old-fashioned smiting every now and then-and who better to smite than the Stupid White types who got us into this mess? ... Heavenly Father, we pray that all white leaders (especially the alumni of Bob Jones University) who believe black people have it good these days be risen from their sleep tomorrow morning with their skin as black as a stretch limo so that they may enjoy the riches and reap the bountiful fruits of being black in America. ... Grant us some relief from our misery and suffering, as we know that the men You shall smite will be swift in their efforts to rid themselves of their misfortune, which in turn may rid us of ours. ... Bush in the White House. ... Any one of these states would have given Gore all the electoral votes he would need to win the White House. ... Everyone knew this effort to barnstorm in the swing states could cost Gore the election and put Bush in the White House. ... Gore would owe him BIG TIME once he was in the White House. ... So yes, WE denied you the White House. ... The bad guys are just a bunch of silly, stupid white men. ... Presidents Very Rich Men," Peter Spiegel, March 8, 2001; Paul ONeills Stock Holdings Are Detailed, The Nation, "The Man from Alcoa," William Greider, July 16, 2001; and the Houston Chronicle, "Alcoa Strikes Curious Water Deal with San Antonio," Nate Blakeslee, September 3, 1999. ... ," Kevin Merida, January 19, 2000; and the New York Times, "Bush Is Providing Corporate Model for White House," Richard L. ... Information on the disparity in health care is found in the following articles: the New York Times, "Blacks Found on Short End of Heart Attack Procedure," Sheryl Gay Stolberg, May 10, 2001; the Associated Press, "Race Bias in Stroke Treatment Found," Melissa Williams, May 4, 2001; and the Daily News, "Black Maternal Deaths 4 Times the White Rate," Leslie Casimir, June 8, 2001. ... Chapter 7--The End of Men Where we stand with the womens movement: The only woman on the ballot of a major party was Geraldine Ferraro, who ran for Vice President with Walter Mondale in 1984. ... Equal Pay Day was celebrated in 2 001 on April 3, the same day the US Department of Labor released a report that measured the wage gap, the Chicago Sun-Times, "Women Still Earn Less Than Men," Francine Knowleds, April 3, 2001. Mens and womens health comparisons come from The Economist, "Are Men Necessary? ... com "Men May Be the Weaker Sex," Linda Carroll, January 16, 2001; and National Institute of Mental Health, "The Numbers Count: Mental Disorders in America"/Hoyert DL, Kochanek KD, Murphy SL; final data for 1997. ... And thanks to Don Epstein and all the people at GTN who organized the "Stupid White Men Tour Across America" that will accompany this book.