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Hey gang! Who here remembers my hilarious advice column for the Nanashi Desu website? Oh. No one. Yeah. Uh-huh. Fuck you. No, ha. Not you. The, um, the person behind you. Yeah, yeah there is, you just don't see him! HE HAS A KNIFE! A knife, which is a metaphor for steel!!! Anyways, here are some of my finest moments in crappy band website journalism: Dear Gabe, HOT!! Debt Consolidation Program!! Consolidate all your Bills into one Easy Monthly Payment * Why not KEEP MORE CASH every month?? NO OBLIGATION FREE CONSULTATION STRICT PRIVACY Special Program to Quickly Consolidate Debt without obtaining a Loan!!Find out how we can: Slash you credit card interest rates down to zero! Cut your minimum monthly payments by 50% or more! Stop creditors from harassing you now! Instantly Consolidate your bills into one payment! Show you how YOU can be debt free!!We've already helped thousands consolidate their debt with this simple program Maybe we could help you too.....Other Great FACTS about this program: No Need to own any property This is not a Loan program Almost everyone with debt over $2000 Qualifies (Does not cover home & auto loans)Our program covers EVERY credit situation.Click Here!! Hm, this is kind of weird. I don't really understand the question... E-mail sad person seems to not be an email sad person but a person who WANTS TO HELP ME. I don't have any bills, I don't need need consilidation. If e-mail sad person said "we help consilidate dead squirrels", then I'd have use. There's too many dead squirrels in my room. This person doesn't need help! He doesn't need help at all! Someone doesn't understand the point of ASK DREAMY DRUMMER REV. GABRIEL "MAD DAWG" LIEBOWITZ! Wait, hold on, I, I found a question within that long email. "WHY NOT KEEP CASH EVERY MONTH?" Good question, sad email person. I don't like keeping cash either. I prefer the law of the jungle, where dead squirrels are used for currency. No muss no fuss. If you don't have enough dead squirrel to buy food, you just eat dead squirrel. See? Law of the jungle is smart. Law of everywhere but the jungle is dumb. ************************** Dear Gabe, Hello, I visited http://nanashidesu.tripod.com/ and I noticed that you are not listed on some search engines. I am sure you can increase the number of people who visit http://nanashidesu.tripod.com/ Do you know TrafficMagnet? TrafficMagnet is a unique technology that instantly submits your web site to over 300,000+ search engines and directories every month.
Approximate Word count = 1639
Approximate Pages = 6.6
(250 words per page double spaced)
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