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Hi, my name's Ludacris and I'm high as girrafes (yeah) And im close to the edge so your parents can come push me I curse so much just to get on they nerves I got kids actin a fool from the traps to the birbs My filthy mouf it wont fight cavities or beat plaque So i shot the tooth fairy (aahhh) and took my old teeth back I'll take a shit on the equator, the size of a crater And make Government officials breath harder than Darth Vader Its the chicken & the beer that make Luda keep rappin But no pork on my fork i dont even speak pig Latin I go fishen on my lake wit some bitches to bake Plus i eat many MC's but i dont gain no weight The number 1 cheif rocker clean out your rap lockers Im as stiff as a board your more shook than maracas But my tricks aint for kids if you dig em' you'll get smaked I'll clap yah, i'll spring forward you far back (whoo) Every album that i drop has got more than ten bangers (yeah) Thats cause im a shot caller ya'll fools are crank yankers (bells) Aint a damn thing changed but the ice on my chain I get chicks from Portland Oregan to Portland Mayne Now i role up torpedoes, get blunted wit rastas For a hefty fee im on your record like Bob Castas (yeah) I own so many jerseys, im a throw-back mess I hit the cleaners an tell em' "i want a full court press" (owe) So mama toast yah glass while im countin my cash Cause every single is a smash, im hot as a camals ass (ha) The competition never just wanna admit that they lost And that they last about as long as my part in The Wash From your car to crack no one roles witchu One of MiniMe's shoes got more soul than you (ok) So by the time you figur out why your record aint spinnin Im in the strip club smokin, wit Presedent Clinton (cough cough cough) So stay of the long side-burns and gold teeth (teeth) They make the mold of the penis and larger off me (me) I'll be in another when i hit from the back (back) Not to mention my refridgerators taller than Shaq (yeah) So yippie ka ye yippie ya ya yo (yo), if you cant swim dont smoke my hydro (dro) I've been lookin for a woman just to put my stamp on But alotta ya'll are more stuck up than tampons (whoo) So wash all you sins away and stop playin (yeah) If God's line is busy you might have to two way him (uh hmm) And catch me in your back yard playin crokay And im drunk im tellin kids "drugs are bad umm-kay" Or watch me swing my chains at the Rascals of Peko Got seven cars get on my rims at chrome depo And people think im bad they say "ooh he's so evil" Cause i go on blind dates with actual blind people (owe) But my albums out the store, yours be on the shelf (uh hmm) I heard you masterbate alot so ya'll keep to yourself Cause these women want a man to stay up and stay strong Like the NBA, you gotta play hard or go home All that shit that ya'll talkin ya'll can pop it to them Cause Ludacris will beat you down with a prosthetic limb I'll put so deep in your ass that you can smell it And your breath'll turn to Footlocker water repelant Im the man i got money far as the eyes can see And im in a group i split do wit me me and me So much money in my jury that im damn near sorry So ima trade my earings in, and get a Ferrari (whoo) I buy cars wit straight cash, have meetins wit Donald Trump Yall meet wit Honda, no payments for 12 months (uh huh) Take a look at your life and no wonder your so sad Ya'll put up wit more shit than a colostomy bag ha ha ha
Approximate Word count = 700
Approximate Pages = 2.8
(250 words per page double spaced)
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