an introducton to personal development
As Thorne (1991) said, in his book Person Centred Counselling, “It is not easy to admit that one can’t take care of oneself.”(p 22) When I finally stopped relying on alcohol to cope with stress I wrote a song entitled Some Damn Fine Shame (see appendix), which highlights my predicament at the time. I believe that I was lucky to meet counsellors who become a “self, which had temporarily divested itself of its own selfhood.”(p 40) and encouraged me to embark upon this counselling course. It was whilst reading Person Centred Counselling by Mearns and Thorne (1988) that I happened upon the following words: “empathy is going on most of the time and not just at profound moments…” (p 41) It is as a consequence of the empathy that I received in my own counselling, that I learned how to stop drinking. I also feel that our tutor on this course was extremely empathic – a value that I now know to be vital in counselling and which certainly helped me in my tutor-student relationship: “When empathy is present shame gives way to wholeness.” Mearns & Thorne (1988)(p 80) My expectations of this course centred on my hope to change my career to something that I valued more. Like Rogers’s (1951) potatoes we are all warped by experience and circumstance but we can still strive to achieve our full potential. Having stopped drinking now for fifteen months I often remember my first visit to the alcohol advisory unit in Chorley: “One of the strongest themes is the silence and fear that surround problem drinking.” Tunnard (2002) (p 25) I now believe I stumbled upon something that had and will continue to save my life. In my counsellors I found tenderness: “When tenderness is present in a relationship I believe that there is a possibility of finding wholeness.” Mearns and Thorne (1988) (p 73) I am very proud to have completed this course and not drifted away from it: it is evidence that I can complete something much more easily without a drink in my hand! There are indeed many definitions of counselling, but I particularly like the definition by Thorne (1991) where a client can “gradually dare to face the anxiety and confusion that arise once the self concept is challenged. (p 35) It is also useful to compare counselling to other helping professions. For example as a parent I know I can be regarded as an ever open pocket and unconditionally loving.