How Good Boys Go Bad
... No one factor is entirely to blame for what our boys have become. These boys are a product of nurture and their environments, more than their nature and biological make-up. ... Pollack (1998) asserts that mothers separate themselves from their boys too soon, in an effort to “cut the apron strings,” without realizing the damage they are doing (p. ... Mothers are taught by society to believe that this is what we need to do in order to turn our boys into men. These little boys are ill prepared for what lies ahead (p. ... 81), and without this type of close loving relationship, boys are disadvantaged at becoming self-assured, and self-sufficient adults (p. ... Boys learn early to stifle their feelings, which give the impression that they have no feelings, when in fact their emotions are very powerful (Garbarino p. ... A fake mask of fearlessness is worn by boys (Garbarino p. ... Messerschmidt references studies by Ghaill (1994) and Martin (1996) in which they state that heterosexuality is something boys “do.” This practice makes boys feel masculine. “Doing masculinity” includes being active in sports, being disruptive in class, harassing the weaker boys, and altercations (Messerschmidt p. ... Boys now begin to question how their sexuality will influence what others think about their masculinity. ... 2-3) The lack of bonding and connectedness contribute to boys being able to perpetrate crimes without remorse (p. ... How is it that boys equate violence with masculinity? Garbarino points out, that unfortunately, boys often learn about masculinity through the mass media and the men living in their communities (p. ... Advertisers claim that men should not be “good boys” and to get the women, you should neglect and abuse them (p. ... Another social toxin that influences boys is video games. ... When our boys are little, we buy them action figures with assorted paraphernalia for battling the enemy. We watch as blood spatters the television or computer screen and hear our boys declare, “I killed him,” or “I’m dead. ... Flight and avoidance, if their set of environmental factors and role models have been good; fight, if their environmental factors and role models have been poor.