memoir
Introducing: Me Growing up, I was a very energetic child. Whenever I encountered someone new I would stick out my tiny hand and say, "Hi! I’m Courtney. What’s your name?" After they responded I would tell them a joke. "What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence?" Almost immediately, I would shout, "Don’t know?! Time to buy a new fence!" This was always followed by my familiar fake giggle. I knew the joke was a classic but some people did not think so. The fake giggle was guaranteed to make them laugh if the joke did not. I was always in my element. I had lived in my Olathe neighborhood my whole life and been raised along side my classmates. I had long since made my first impressions. I felt comfortable in my own skin and had more friends then i could count. My comfort zone and my bravery seemed to vanish, though, when I moved to Shawnee in my fourth grade year. Much like any other nine year-old girl, I was chubby, wore glasses, and had an awful haircut (though it was the latest style at the time). On the first day of fourth grade at my new school, I walked into my new classroom. I did not know any of the kids or teachers around me, I had no friends, and i was scared they would not like me. I quickly took my crayons and Elmer’s glue to the nearest desk and planted myself while the other students giggled and asked their friends if they had gum. I felt different. I felt unworthy to be their friend because I was the new girl, and for years I felt like the new girl. My true self was shadowed by my fear of rejection formulated in that classroom. It was not until the summer after my freshman year in high school that I would reemerge. That year I had decided to run for a student council position. I was not involved in any sports. Theater productions were only twice a year, so I needed some way to be involved, and, more importantly, I needed a way not to be left behind the popular students. I ran for class representative, not having the nerve to challenge any of the more popular kids running for officer positions. As it turned out, only two other girls ran for representative, so we all were automatically in. I was excited, but at the same time very disappointed. I did not feel like I was truly a representative of my classmates because it would not have mattered if they had voted for me or not.