Finding Healthy Relationships
...o or where to turn, ask God to lead and direct your path. Personal Control Once you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and decide to start all over again, never let your fears keep you from progressing to the next level. Once you have taken the time to get to know who you are, you will begin to attract a more well-rounded individual. In Dr. Grace Cornish’s book, “You Deserve Healthy Love, Sis!”, she mapped out a 12 stage relationship recovery guideline that I found very useful: 1. Recognizing that the unhealthy relationship is no good for you 2. Conditioning yourself to get out of it. 3. Taking the steps and actually walking out of it. 4. Coping with the emotional roller coaster one day at a time. 5. Getting to know yourself 6. Restoring and re-creating yourself 7. Empowering and enjoying the new you 8. Wanting and praying for a healthy-minded, compatible mate. 9. Meeting and checking him out. 10. Opening to the possibilities of a new, healthy relationship as you get to know him. 11. Removing your self-protective coating as you grow to trust and respect him. 12. Enjoying a healthy love match as you grow to love each other. A personal internal spiritual renewal will guarantee a joyful survival. Spiritual renewal is personal power. Personal power allow us to choose or refuse without being confused. With this kind of personal survival kit, you will no longer be vulnerable or held captive by any emotional disturbances and circumstances that have you drifting along and taking what was being dished-out to you. You can pick and choose whom you will allow in your heart and in your personal environment. Stress Relationship problems what we experience from time to time can be stressful. Conflicts can arise with our spouses, friends, or family. We often misunderstand what causes them to occur in the first place. Most people are confused about what it takes to create happy, successful, long-term interpersonal relationships. This is another hidden cause of our stress. Successful relationships create a purpose that can empower both you and your partner throughout a lifetime. Your purpose should be something both you and your partner can be energized from doing. It should be something that will help the both of you focus on rather than on yourselves. It is very important for you and your partner to always clarify (communicate with each other openly and honestly) important agreements, expectations, values, roles, feelings, attitudes, beliefs, passions, etc. Failure to do this is a major cause of stress. Don’t assume that you know your partner’s thoughts, feelings, or desires. Don’t assume he understand yours, either. So that there are no misunderstandings, always spell things out. We should never expect our partners to bring us happiness. As human beings we have the power to make ourselves happy any time we want. It is always easier to learn how to create happiness on your own. Then, whatever happiness your partner does contribute to your life, you can consider that special. Trust is an important part of all human relationships. Organize your own life and behavior so as to always deserve your partner’s faith and trust as well. You must establish and protect mutual trust in your relationship. Without this key ingredient, your relationship will fail. A good relationship today is not one that just lasts but one that coexists with self-respect, individuality and the need to grow. Team Involvement Once you know who you are and have learn to love yourself first, you should be ready to make it know to your family, friends and acquaintances that you are available to start dating. There could be a friend of a friend of...