The relationship between me and myself
...structive behavior symptoms that I never realized were related to low self-esteem such as, compulsive smoking, drinking, eating, spending money and don’t get in to relationships. I also believe that my low self-esteem has contributed to the fact that I have never been able to hold down a job for more than six months and that I have dropped out of school three times. Self-concept – A person’s self-concept is not a singular mental self-image, but a multifaceted system of related images and ideas. (Hermans 1996) On page 61 in our textbook, it states that our self-image is affected by all the experiences in our life. Whether the experiences have been good or bad, our self-image is based on those. If you have failed a lot and been put down by others you will probably have a lower self-image than someone who has had a lot of accomplishments and compliments. I feel that this is correct, I was put down a lot when I was younger, being called names like Fee-Fee, bubble-butt, freckle face, Andre the seal, Ajax and many more names that weren’t very nice, I began to think that I was ugly. Then anything I wanted to do, like be an actress, and professional singer I was told that I was not good enough. I wanted to do a lot of things in my life that I was told I couldn’t do, or wasn’t good enough, that I didn’t even try because I was scared. It made me feel bad about myself and eventually made me stay away from people because I was afraid of being hurt. I became lost in depression and learned to play a role very well on the outside, but inside I was very lonely. Loneliness is an experience most of us go through at one point or another. Whether you are actually alone is the question. I can be in a room full of people, all talking to me, and paying attention to me and still feel like I am alone. Loneliness is a disease that there is not really a cure for. Ira Tanner, author of: Loneliness: The fear of love, tells us that until we can identify loneliness as it really is _ LONELINESS_ we will continue to fumble for a cure. In many ways we cant express how alone we are. In broken families, a lot of communication has been broken as well so we cannot talk to others. If your family is broken, it often instills the fear of love as well. I have noticed that when I do meet someone that I am falling in love with I tend to turn and run as fast as I can in the other direction. I want to be able to love someone deep down inside, but I am so scared of it. Harry Stack Sullivan said the deepest problems for people are loneliness, isolation, and difficulty with self-esteem. (Pg11 in our textbook) This proves to be true when you look at the four life stances we discussed in class. Our understanding of loneliness depends mainly on how we view love. We usually see it from four vantage points. “ I don’t deserve to be loved and I’ll prove it” (I’M NOT OK, YOUR OK), “I don’t trust people who want to give love and I’ll prove It.” (I’M OK, YOURE NOT OK), “I have given up trying to give it or receive it.” (I’M NOT OK- YOUR NOT OK). All three of those life stances are underlined by a fear of love or being attached to someone. Or even fighting with our sub-conscious thoughts. We need to have faith in the final life stance: I’M OK, YOUR OK. Once we begin to realize our fear, and realize that its ok to love and be loved we wont feel so lonely. My life stance when I was younger was “ I’m ok, you’re not ok.” I thought that everyone was trying to put me down and I felt that they were just out to get me. I was the oldest of four children in a very abusive family. I am the only one that is left-handed and was in special education classes. The kids at school felt it was necessary to pick on me and make fun of me and then I came home and got it from my family. Now that I am older, ...