i found myself in church
... a huge smile on his face, he greetingly accepted my offer. It was as if he had been waiting on someone to ask him to guide them through Hell his whole life. When Dave and I got to Hell we were greeted by the King of Hell, St. Benedict. St. Benedict explained to us that there were eight circles of Hell, each one consisting of different types of sinners, some circles contained people of the same sin. So as he cuts us loose, Dave introduces me to one of the sinners in Hell, R. Kelly, who was a famous R&B artist back on Earth. I asked R. Kelly why he was here in Hell. He told me that it was none of my business. Because I wanted to know why one of my favorite R&B singers was in Hell, I insisted that he tell me or I would tell St. Benedict to move him to the worst circle of Hell. He then told me that he was guilty of raping a 14 year old girl. He added that he was found innocent in the courtroom on Earth, but St. Benedict knew what he did, and he was sent to Hell in the fourth circle. He was sent to the fourth circle of Hell because this consisted of sinners who committed rape, adultery, and fornication. I asked him why he raped the young girl, he replied, “ He wasn’t thinking straight, he was drunk and his hormones just took over. I asked him does he regret that night he raped the young girl, he said he didn’t while he was on Earth because he got away with it, but now he is paying for it in Hell, and he says that he would rather had been given life in prison rather than suffer in Hell. He also told me the things he was suffering in the fourth circle of Hell. He said that his body is sliced by a machete into 32 different parts and he feels the pain because he cannot die. After R. Kelly was sent back to his circle, I came across O.J. Simpson, a famous NFL player on Earth. I asked him why he was in Hell, he told me that it was none of my business. So like R. Kelly, I threatened to tell St. Benedict to send him to the worst circle in Hell. So he told me that he was in the eighth circle of Hell due to committing murder. I remember back on Earth that he had gotten away with murder in the courtroom, but once again St. Benedict knew what he did, so he was sent to Hell. I asked O.J. why did he commit murder, he replied, “ I hated my wife, she cheated on me and always lied to me, so I killed her.” And then I asked him was that really worth killing her, he then replied, “ Yes back on Earth it was because I got away with it, but the punishment in Hell makes me regret it.” After I met R. Kelly and O.J., Dave Chapelle starts to show me the 8 circles of Hell. Each circle took a week to get through. Circle one consisted of sinners who committed the sins of jealousy and hatred. Those people were punished by having their faces melted continuously. As I continued with my friend Dave Chapelle, who by the way is a famous comedian and actor on Earth, into the second circle of Hell we came across a single-headed monster that looked like that of Michael Jackson after all of his nose surgeries. The monster was very pale and could dance, this reminded me a lot of Michael Jackson, who is a famous pop star on Earth. Circle two and three consisted of the same sinners, it was just not enough room for all these sinners in one circle. This circle consisted of people who committed the sins of lieng, cheating, and stealing. These sinners were punished by getting t...