The Trials and Tribulations of an Unpublished Author
.... I did, however, read an interesting fact from one agency informing me it received over 120 submissions a week, and only took on two new writers a year. A quick calculation revealed my chances of acceptance were running at 3,120-1. Having spoken to a leading bookmaker, it was reassuring to learn the odds on The Second Coming, confirmation of which is required by The Archbishop Of Canterbury should anyone be interested in a punt, are 1,000-1. In other words, over three times more likely to happen. One of the worst things about rejection is having to tell friends and family that you've been rejected. It rubs it in. "Well, writing a book. Let's be honest. Your chances of success are virtually nil," they say. Hardly the consoling words you want to hear having spent more than a year now trying to write the wretched thing. The only good news recently has been an increase in my circulation figures - up to three. Two friends have now read my novel, one of whom is acting as critic, sub-editor, and all-round destroyer of egos. She makes all those hard-nosed literary gurus who appear on Newsnight Review sound like pussy cats by comparison. If you're wondering who my third reader is, that would be me. Well, you've got to try and bump up your readership. An audible rumble of excitement did pass through the Furber publishing team just before Christmas when one agent asked for an 'exclusive' look at the entire manuscript, having liked the first three chapters. A fourth reader! At last. A ray of light could be seen coming through the door into published 'author'dom, a door firmly held shut up until this point, manned as it was by a burly six foot three bouncer called Dave telling me: 'Sorry mate, you're not coming in'. Success beckoned and I couldn't help stealing a thought about those six figure advances you read about in the press. If J K Rowling can do it, then why couldn't I? After my printer had somehow managed to splutter its way through the 350-odd pages, I excitedly delivered the manuscript. I also figured this couldn't be a better time for my book to be read. Pre-Christmas. All that festive good will. A few too many glasses of Sherry! It just might make th...