my book
...e doctors everyone was just too scared to ask I thought. Finally I broke the silence and ask so how is my grandpa doing? The doctors just look in to my eyes and told me he’ll be just fine where he is at now. I didn’t really understand him I had a confused look in my eyes; he then told me everything will be just fine. When I looked over to my dad to ask him “where did grandpa go?” I didn’t get an answer all I got was a sight that stayed with me forever, it was a sight that was painted very purple and blue my mom and my aunt hugging each other and my dad supporting my grandma up and everyone had tears in there eyes. The doctor said he tried his best and told my family not to take it so hard. I’ve seen this scene many times in movies; I never knew that it can happen in real life. It been weeks after my grandpa’s death. I still can’t believe that he was really gone. It was a big adjustment that I had to make at this time of my life. It was only a couple days away from Christmas; I came up with many ideas to create the best present to give to my grandpa on this day. Even though Christmas it was a mournful Christmas not just to remind us about Jesus death it reminds me of memorable activities that my grandpa had plan for my cousin and I during Christmas seasons. I remember one year grandpa came up with a great game, it was a great because I had won the grand prize, it was a game where he had ducks in a big blue pool about one feet high and we had to fish for the ducks. It wasn’t the same anymore without grandpa but I just kept the memories inside and act like it was just another day. I prayed every night to my grandpa and tell him about everything that happens at school, and the family, even about wrestling. Christmas passed by we all lived live like we were supposed to no one really talked about grandpa anymore. Then came Tet it is a tradition that Asians have. The Lunar New Year or Tet to the Vietnamese people is incomparable to any single Western holiday. Instead, it is like a fusion of the American Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Memorial Day - all in a traditional month-long celebration of prosperity, spring, rebirth and familial ancestry. As times change and Vietnamese people become "westernized," however, the actual observance of Tet has become restricted to a couple of days up to several weeks. Nevertheless, the ancient customs have endured as families still reunite during Tet, donned in their best clothes and spirits, to decorate their houses with chrysanthemums and apricot tree blossoms; to make seasonal treats like sugar-coated coconut strips, dates, and nuts, all called "mứt", red-dyed roasted watermelon seeds and delicious sticky rice cakes filled sweet with mung-bean and meat called "bánh chýng," to exchange New Year wishes of good fortune, longevity, and happiness; and most importantly, to pay respect to deceased family members and friends. Every year during Tet my family would wake up around six in the morning to get in our best looking clothes and get all the food and goodies to give my grandparents for a good start out of a good new year. This year it wasn’t as happy because I know that my grandpa was not going to be there to tell my old folk tales from Vietnam. I miss him dearly. When we got to our grandma house she had given us all an envelope that was red to symbolize lucky money to start out the year. One of the favorite folk tale that grandpa had told me was the story of the man that eat the moon cakes and given as gifts in honor of the moon. Man in the Moon (Nguyet Lao) and the Moon Lady (Ba Nguyet). The moon is also thought to be the home of the Great Palace of Coldness, which was once visited by Emperor Duong Minh Hoang, who reached it by way of a luminous bridge, prepared for him by a Taoist priest. Once he arrived on the moon, the Emperor was greeted by beautiful and charming fairies, who danced to enchanting music. Thus, Vietnamese families commemorate this journey by making and parading lanterns. At Tet, children make lanterns in the shape of boats, cranes, dragons, hares, unicorns and so on. In the evening, by the light of the autumn moon, candles are lit and placed inside the lanterns and paraded through the streets to the beat of drums and cymbals. This story is one of the stories that I like the most out of many of the stories that he have told. Days and month went by since my grandpa death I have grown a lot. I was in only ten years old and in the fifth grade. At this point of time my family and aunt and uncles are now well finance to pay for everything they own. Fifth grade was terrible my family had decided to put me in to a private school. It was very hard for me to adapt because everyone in those are train to be at a higher level then I am. I remember in the fifth grade at my old school we only learn how to multiply from 1 to 12 only but most of the kids at my private school were highly educated to multiply from 1 to 100 it was hard for me at first but months passed by I had tried very hard to be better and I made it. That was the greatest feeling ever to conquered challenges in life. I remember the first day at the new school I just walk in to my first class everyone laugh at me. I didn’t really know why then I realized that my family had registered me in to school but didn’t pay of buy my uniform. I was terrified I was nearly to tears but I held it in. Then after that my teacher had send me down to the office to call my mom to come up to school and buy me the uniform in the office. My mom was very sorry that she cause me to have such a bad day already at a new school I finally came to a point and forgave her at first I was furious. The uniform was very ugly it was blue slacks with a green plead shirt and he alternate where were a green shirt and blue slacks. Many of the students were very nice to me but there were these group of guys which had never left me alone they would mock my language and call me names like chink, poor sucker, public school trash, dumb ass, and slant. The reason that had called me a slant was because even though I was a Vietnamese boy I had very chinky eyes. I had hate my self for having chinky eyes but I came to a conclusion that there words might hurt my felling but I was born like that and I am going to be proud of how I look. Those boys had helped me to be a stronger person than what I am. There are many times I would go to school and just sit in the rest room because I was terrified of all the things that they would do to me. That one time when they had locked me in my own locker I almost suffocated to death thank God that I had a loud enough voice to call out for help. They were punished many times but they didn’t care every time after they get in troubles a couple days later they would do things worst then what they have done the day before. I was so scared to tell my dad and family about this is because they would call me a chum which is another word for whim and they would just tell me that they are disappoint me. I hate to put my dad down I do everything that I do is because I love to make my dad proud of me. Finally the last strike it was Friday I remember the groups of boys had called me out of the crowd and try to hit me I took a deep breath and thought to my self what is the worst that could happen so I just step up to there challenge which was to race around the race track. They wanted me to race against them it was a four person race but they expected me to run it all by myself. Which I excepted then, when the race was over I was surprise, but I had beat all of them. They were very up set to this point that one of them wanted to fight me so when he had swing at me I duck quick then I just took my fist and swing it straight at him and little did I know I an stronger then I thought I was. When my fist had hit his face he had drop down and didn’t gotten up for like a couple of seconds. He then realizes that I am not the person to mess with so from then on they had left me alone. Chapter 4 Everything at school was going ok as for at home things were just slowly passing by. Grandma had become very sick. The doctor think it’s because of ageing she was almost 80 at this time and she still taking care of all the grandkids that are not old enough to go to school. I think its not because of ageing I think the cause of this is when grandpa died grandma had become very sheltered and she didn’t really talk much she spend most of her time in the room praying or sleeping. I became very worry of her one day I ask her is everything ok? She told me everything is never going to be the same which I am assuming that when grandpa died nothing been the same for her. I tried my best to cheer her up but she it work for the time being but as times goes by she was always so depressed. Even though my grandma was very sick everyone else in the family had to do what they do everyday to produce enough money to support the family. That day grandma went to the doctor the doctor had told her she had cancer in her lungs but luckily it wasn’t the last stage yet it was only the first stage which is curable. This would cause our family couple thousand of dollars. Our families only have half of the money we as a family didn’t know what else to do but luckily my dad had a good friend which is very rich and nice enough to loan us some money. We browed a couple of thousand from them to pay for grandma’s surgery. That day I remember exactly how it happen I had really bad memory in the hospital it started out with grandpa death now its grandma surgery. Her surgery didn’t go as plan she spent like two weeks in ICU to recover. Thank the lord that she did. Even though I didn’t really get along with her I still didn’t want to loose her either. She was a big help to our family. Once she was in the hospital my mom and my aunts had to take turn to take off of work to take cares of the kids that didn’t go to school. Grandma had made it home safe she was not all that healthy after the surgery but she was doing good enough to do everything on her own. She continued on taking care of the kids for my mom and aunts. Suddenly one day I guess the cancer was coming back she had fell down to the grow in pain her face was white pale I didn’t know what to do I was at home with her and the kids I didn’t know what to do all the grown up were all at work I was scared. I finally thought of it and call my dad at his work place he told me not to call the ambulance just help grandma up and give her some water my dad had ask to come home early that day. Grandma turn out to be ok she was just like that because her wound was open and the pain comes back every now and then but the pain she had that day was worst because she was stressing her self out too much. Talking about stress, I was pretty stress out for all I do at that age. Everyday that passed by at school it just makes me realized that school is the worst place to ever be at. It was a hot day in gym class I have gotten myself in a lot of trouble it was my turn to come up to bat I didn’t wanted to go so I decided to just skip and ran off to my teacher office until after gym but I didn’t remember the groups of boys that didn’t like me very much told on me. It was a quarter to 2 the end of the gym the coach had came in the office and busted me. I was embarrassed I was horrified well actually I was scared to the point that I had begged him to do what ever for him till the end of the year for him not to tell my parents. He came up with the most stupid thing for me to do. He wanted me everyday to run around the track ten times in fifteen minutes. To me that was not that bad at least my parents didn’t find out and my dad would not be disappoint in me. There were only one more month left in that school year anyways. Thank the lord. Chapter 5 Then summer came along that summer was the fourth summer I spent in US it has been four years since I left Vietnam to come to America. The pass for years I have spent my summer at home with the family this year I wanted to travel but didn’t know how I would go and do that. That same year my family decided to drive to Florida to visit my cousin that was living there. Sitting in the car for almost 14 hours I learned a lot about the streets and the road and different states. One incident that I had remember forever about that car trip was when there were a couple of hitch hikers in he street that wanted to bumb a ride I was scared to death because we stop for some gas and didn’t know that such a thing could happen. My dad and I were sitting in the car waiting everyone to finishing up and we would go back to our road trip we were just a couple of hours away. Then it happen there were about three big white guys these white guy smell like alcohol and cigarettes I was scared but I knew that my dad was not scared. I know that he would be there for me no matter what. My dad didn’t understand them and what they wanted to say but I surly did. I told my dad what they had say and my dad look them straight in the eye and say no. I was very proud of him. Finally we continue on with our road trip. On the way to my cousin house I seen many cool things like all sorts of fruits that I didn’t know could be grown here in America. When we arrived at our cousin house they greeted us at a very polite way their house was huge. I never seen a house that big in Vietnam not even the richest people over there own houses like this. My aunt and uncle have three kids they were all boys. One was 20, 18, and one was 15 I hung around mostly with the 15 year old one all three of them are very dark and they all have a very good sense of style. They have been in Vietnam longer so they knew more and they are very good in their English. I have asked him so how does he like it in Florida? He told me that its ok but the thing he loves to do the most here were to go to the beach every now and then maybe that explains why he is so dark. Their style is very stylist. Wish I was that rich to afford those types of clothing that they have. My cousin had ask me what do I do for spare time I told him that most of the time I just do homework or just stay home with my grandma to take cares of the children. Then he told me by tomorrow he would take me to the beach and to some of his friend’s house so I could know more about the people of Florida. That day came when I was at the beach there I seen plenty of pretty girls and I have met a lot of my cousin’s friends they were all nice but they all act to high class for me I felt left out at times but my cousin tried his best to keep me not feeling like that. What can I expect; I was only a little ten year old and they were all teenagers. The last day I was in Florida, I met this one person that gave me advice that I wish I would have listen to. I was young at that time so I thought why was He is talking to me. At first I thought he was just drunk but I didn’t care I listen to him anyway I had nothing better to do. He told me “Son, never trust a women that you THINK you’re in love with. All she’ll do is use you till she done with you and then throw you out like a dirty towel.” I never really thought much about it. I was just a young kid who cares about love? Well at that time I didn’t but I took it to consideration anyways. After that long with him I just went on and went to go find my cousin and ask him had he ever been in love? He had told me love is hard to find you’ll probably think you find it at times but really it’s just a lesson to learn before you really find it. The next morning came along it was time to go back home now I said my good bye to my cousin and most of all the beautiful site of Florida. By the time I came back to Port Arthur it was time to go back to school this year passed by quick nothing I remember much but there were one thing I remember. That year was my first year in middle school I was very excited but scared at the same time. School was very different because in elementary we didn’t have block schedule or a blue or gold day but there was this one thing that help me to remember that year of sixth grade I was put in to art I didn’t know that I have that much talent in me. Art class was the best thing ever it helps me discover how good I am at draw and creating art material. There was one thing I have drawn that I had brought me so much memory. It was a picture of grandpa I love that picture till this day I still hang it in my room. That year pasted by quickly well my middle school years passed by quickly came high school. Things really were different when I went to High School. I intend Jefferson High school for my ninth grade year. I was a good student before I went to high school my average was around a B+, but I guess high school do change you. I started to slack off. My grade point average went from a B+ all the way to C- I didn’t know what was the cause but I know that high school was not as easy as I thought it would be. I had many Americans friends at school I thought they were all good people but they weren’t as good as I thought they were all drug head I didn’t know that until I attended one of they high school parties. There were many things there I never heard of like ex pills, bar pills, and weed. I didn’t intend to try any of it but there so many people pressuring me. I had a lot of peer pressure during high school but I only fell in some of their traps. Sure I tired drugs but only a few times. The type of drugs that I have tried were x and bar nothing really dangerous to my thought but then I found later the that these drugs has caused that me to not remember some of the things that I have learn in school and at time when my friends ask me to help them out something that say I would forget in like a minute. From then on I stop using them but there were one time I use weed well many time but this one time I used it with a couple of my American friends little did I know however weed can make you careless and don’t really feel anything. I was high that night driving home almost killed me. I was on Gulfway home then suddenly I notice that I was driving on the wrong side of the road right in front of my eyes a eighteen wheeler almost hit me luckily there was a big curb I just slanted the car over there I was a ok from then on it teach me a lesson to not use drugs but every now and then when I am stressed I don’t know why I always run to it. At that time school was giving me a hard time I really hated it but could I do if don’t go to school my parents would send me out at that time I was only sixteen didn’t really know what or where I would go if my parents send me out. I thought looking for a job would be a good thing to do to keep myself out of troubles. I went job hunting with my brother John for about a month. I tried many places but nothing or anyone wanted to call me back. Then I just went on with my daily life then on one sunny day at home with grandma watching Chinese movie then the phone rang it was a phone call from Mrs. Lily she had ask to come and work for her. Mrs. Lily was a sweet skinny old woman that lives by herself she has three kids but they all are married and have kids. She ask me to work as a gardener for her all I have to do to mow her lawn once a month and water the plans everyday before the sun goes down. This wasn’t really a job but it was a good way to keep myself busy and help me concentrated more on my school work. One day Mrs. Lily had ask me to buy her a bag of soil to help some of her plants that were dying be healthier. I did as she say when I came back I had found her laying on the wooden floor in her living room. I was very frighten didn’t really know what to do then I grasp my breath and call 911 the ambulance showed up faster then I thought they would. There were like four people that jumped out of the ambulance with a stretcher they had pick her up and put her into the ambulance and drove off to the hospital. I had went with the people to the hospital to see how everything would turn out while I was there I decided to call her kids to come visit her I couldn’t reach any of her kids but when she had woken up she told me to not worry this happen to her more then once. She told me to go home and get some sleep and I didn’t have to show up to work tomorrow. I didn’t have to but I did anyways. A couple of days later Mrs. Lily had came back home and healthy as ever she became more cautious of her health. A couple month later Mrs. Lily had become very sick she had to transfer in to the nursing home she wasn’t able to take care of herself after her entering in the nursing home I didn’t have a job anymore. Since I didn’t have a job anymore I started to hang with my friends more. As school got harder I got lazier. I wasn’t really worried about school as much as I use to I was more worry on impressing my friends and my peers I was stupid at that time I thought school wasn’t going to bring me to anywhere so I didn’t really worry about it. Most of the time I would rather be with my friends and go out every night never home even my mother said that I have grow through out the years but she say she haven’t seen me much to know that. I felt really bad because I love my family to death. I didn’t want them to think that I am bad or neglecting them. My theory was “why I’m busting my ass to get good grades when I’m going to Lamar anyway”. Lamar is not a bad school it just that any one can get in Lamar. On my tenth grade I slack off so much that I didn’t even pass all my required classes my mother was so disappointed at my results. She cried for days. She even wrote me a letter the letter was had so much of her feelings in there till this day I still read it sometimes and I would sit there and cry. From then on I knew I have to do better to gain my family trust that I can do better and I am better then that. I didn’t know how I was going to gain there trust but I tried really hard. I went to summer school and gain all my points for a little there my family stared to trust me a little bit more than when I lied and fail. Then came my 11th grade year I stop using drugs and my life was going well I had raised my gpa to be at a A- I thought my 11th grade year was going to get better when I find a girl but little did I know how much trouble a girlfriend would bring me. Well a bad girlfriend would bring to me. In the middle of my 11th grade year I finally met a girl she was about 5”3 very thin she had meat but not a lot she had a great shape and a very nice personality she talk very soft, very smart, and such a wise girl. I really didn’t met her, I knew her since middle school. I never really paid any attention to her because she was such a “book worm” also known as a geek. Her name was Katie; she had black shot hair and was in to school more than anything she thinks that nothing could be better then having a good education. She was a confident girl that knows what she was going to do in life she had her life set she didn’t care much what anyone thinks she was arrogant at time many people hated her they all thought that she was too conceded. Chapter 6 We started out as friends at first, and I didn’t think much about it or her because I had a crush on a friend of mines since I was 7 but no one knows about it. Her name was Van she and I were friends sine forever we went to TNTT together TNTT was a youth group at church that interacts and talk about Jesus. I didn’t really like her at first because she was mean to me she likes to hit people I didn’t think of it were love lick but it was her hitting me had turn in to a big crush. At the same time that I was talking to Katie I was talking to Van at the same time. Katie and I were just really friends but that time Katie thought more of a friend about me then what I did. Homecoming up was coming up in like two weeks I really wanted to ask Van to go with me but on the other hand Katie had ask me first I didn’t give her an answer because I was planning to ask Van. The next day my friend Andy and I walk to Van house to talk to her brother Tung I took the chance that I was there to ask Van to go with me. But I remember that Van already has a boyfriend he was out of town though I didn’t think he would care if she would just go with me to homecoming. I took the chance and ask her but she though it was all a joke I was very hurt and disappointed. So then I just told Katie that I would go with her. I thought I wouldn’t have any fun but I had an ok time Katie and I started talking for about 5 months she ask me when was I was going out ask her out. I thought to myself that I was not ready for a girlfriend, and at that time I was still trying to forget that Van was going to be there so at that moment I just took the chance and act like I was ready to go out steady with her. Oh Boy, that was a big mistake. Little did I know she was going to make my life a living hell? She wasn’t anything like she turns out to be. In the beginning it was pretty good. We never argue and we really never disagree on much, every time we would go out she would always make me felt so special and most of the time she send with me she was very nice until a couple of months into our relationship she started to acting very irritated. After the fourth month of the relationship she became a money sucking, attention wanting girl. Anything she likes or wants her would expect me to by it for her. There were time I didn’t know what I would do if my family did not buy the dry cleaner down in the west side of Port Arthur. Currently at that time I was working for my family at the fry cleaner from 12 to 5:30 every weekday but as for weekend I only work on Saturday from 8-1 it was an easy job. Most the time at work I just sit there and watch TV and sweat to death they didn’t have air condition and cable all they have was channel two, three, and five well I didn’t enjoy my job much but it was easy money I staple clothes for a living. I never really notice it until one of my close friend told me. He pulled me to the side and asks “Gabriel are you happy with Katie” and of course I said yes (but really I was denying it to myself that I am not) and I asked him “Why do you ask that?” He told me that some of Katie friends told me that Katie was just using me and I meant nothing to her all I was to her was a money bag ,she told them that I would pay for everything. In reality I was really paying for everything she had a job to but she never offered to pay or even buy me a gift. I couldn’t believe I wouldn’t believe it, so I punch him. I felt bad because me and him been friends for 8 years. That is one thing I wish I have never done I felt really bad. He was the only I trusted but mang since he told me that I thought I lost all my friends. Since I been with her I did loose most my friends she didn’t get along with most of them therefore she didn’t let me hang with them much. About Katie I asked her about it and of course she said that she didn’t say that but really she did. And like the dumb ass I was I believe her again and again after everything. I didn’t really get why she would lie to me I gave her everything she wanted I treated her like she was the only person in the world but she neglected me like I am nothing. In the beginning I always go out with my friends on Fridays and spend Saturday with her, but after the punch all of my friends thought I have change and they didn’t really care much to hang with me well they would call but I would tell them that I am not going to go gosh I was so dumb at that time. Most of my friends told me that I could have done better than what I have settle for but I still deny it to me self and at time I thought of it I do deserver better but I was with her for so long when I break up with her I didn’t know if anyone would be there for me. I didn’t tell anyone this I was scared to admit to them that they were right but I had too. I finally went to my best friend (the guy that I had punch) he told me no matter what had happen he will still be there so I knew that he would be the only one I can ever trust. But out there in the reality all my friends are waiting for me to come back to them and go out every weekend to the mall, movies, and bowling my favorite sport. You can say I left my entire friend for her. I know what you thinking that was a dumb idea. I know it was but I had to do it. She wanted all the attention and everything else. Duong was one of my boys that knew about the crush I have on Van well Duong was Van’s cousin he broke the news to me that she had left and moved to Milwaukee and enter into and convent. I was very shock and sad that she didn’t even say a goodbye before she left. She was a great person I always wanted a chance with her but that suck she is gone. Van and I went way back like I said TNTT since we were seven and in middle school even though we didn’t go to the same school I still called her ever day well we didn’t talk much during that time but luckily she called my sister Anna so I took the chance and ask her why she never call or talk to me much anymore? She told me it because I never called her anymore. She always uses that line to get back at me. So from then on we talk on the phone almost everyday I have always drop her hints that I liked her. I think she knew she just never really respond because she had a boyfriend (they were on and off most of the time). In high school she had rejected me for homecoming so that is why I ended up with Katie. I don’t blame her though maybe its faith it meant to be like that. While things between me a Katie headed into the ditch. I have tried many time to break it off with her but she would always come up with a reason to make me feel bad for her and many time I went back her when I didn’t needed to. There was one time that she had try to slit her wrist right in front of my face. I thought it was so stupid of her who in hell would do that for a guy especially for a guy she say she is only using maybe she did loved me well she loved my money more. Well, she doesn’t realize that she had lost something great until I was gone. The end of my 11th grade year was ok didn’t enjoy it much I have too much drama going on. I was still with Katie and my life couldn’t get any worst that what it is. On the other hand my families were doing great at this time they financially stables and they hand branched out to more the five different dry cleaners. I didn’t think a family that immigrated over here could be more successful then born and raised American people. That same year my brother had graduated from college he graduate under the business major. My family was very proud of him because he was the first boy in the family to have a degree in the family. Therefore my mom and aunt had sold some of the dry cleaning business to him and my sister Danielle so they could help out to. As for my sister Danielle she was the oldest out of us four. She is soon now getting married to her fiancé Steven. I was really happy for her she had been dating him for about five years. My sister Anna was now attending Lamar state college following my brother foot step in to the same major. At that time I was just trying to enjoy my summer before hitting in to my senior the best year of a student in school. I am so glad that I am all most done. That summer was really boring most of my time was spent at Katie house doing nothing just sitting there looking at her retarded bother screaming, her mom is very rude towards me she would make me do things that I usually don’t do at home like take out trash. As for Katie she would just sit in her room and watch Law and Order, ER, and ect… there are times that I am over there and she would make me sit on the floor in her room because she don’t want to be bother but I ask to go home she wouldn’t let me. Thank the lord summer past by because when we go back to school I don’t have to be there so often. The last year in high school I only had four classes to go to so school was very chilling for me. I did enjoy school my friends and I have gotten to understand each other more I have told them my problems with Katie and I. One day at school my friends Nicole had came up to me and said that I am buying Katie a Fendi purse? I told her hum...