Where Are you Going, Where Have You Been? by Joyce Carol Oates
... he actually is with her is when he drives her to the movies and in other circumstances like that. Physical appearance was one thing that Connie held great importance to as she was obsessed with her own, one of her mom’s dislikes and complaints about her. Connie lives a very fanciful life where she daydreams about boys, typical of any girl of her age. Her perspective on life is one that is sheltered by her youth. Her thoughts on boys were “sweet, gentle, the way it was in movies and promised in songs.” ( p155, Oates) “Their faces blended together in her mind, dissolved into a single face that was not really a face, but an idea”.(p155, Oates) The fact that she mentions them as an idea allows her a great deal of control them. Through this portion of the story, the reader is led to believe that Connie lives a relatively sheltered life, that not much to her exists out of her own home. Her youthful world is over after Arnold Friends pulls out in her driveway one day. Even before Friend shows up, Connie has an experience where she wakes from a dream “and hardly knew where she was” (p.154, Oates). This was just the beginning of the eye opening experience that she was about to endure. Friend shows up at her house and tries to get Connie to go with him for a ride with his friend Eddie. The location is unknown to either of the characters when the subject is brought up. This could be linked to the first portion of the title “where are you going”. The location is left unknown in order to emphasize the uncertainty of the future one faces when he comes of age. “It was as if the idea of going for a ride somewhere, to some place, was a new idea to him” (p156, Oates). Connie is initially attracted to Arnold as he gives her some positive attention, and then becomes afraid of Arnold, because of his over aggressive and threading behavior to get Connie to leave with him. In an effort to pull Connie out of the security of her home, he threatens her family. For the first time, she actually shows some sort of positive feelings for her family and discovers how valuable they are. The house for Connie becomes a symbol of security. Home is a shelter where any person can go for safety from the outside world. As she was threatened by Friend, she retreated deeper and deeper into the house searching for her safety. There is a sense that she has changed from her childhood ways and the house could no longer protect her. The way the house seems to change in her perception shows that she is beginning the passage from childhood to adulthood. “The kitchen looked like a place she had never seen before, some room she had run inside but whitewash’s good enough, wasn’t going to help her.” (p160,Oates) Friend’s appearance is referenced to several times throughout the story. In all of Connie’s daydreams and fantasies, the faces are all jumbled together. Oates takes particular interest in the description of Friend’s face, and purposely makes him somewhat unattractive. In doing so, she contrasts Connie’s dreams about love and relationships with boys. Connie’s idea of her fantasy boys’ faces being blended together are ruined because of the distinct characteristics on Friend’s face as well as the face that he has painted on the side of his car. He is not the romantic hero from the movies or the person referred to in the songs she listens to in his physical appearance, language, or mental stability. The fact the two men that visit with Connie are older, shows the coming of age for Connie will also be soon. Friend wears makeup in order to appear younger. He attempts to connect with her youth although he doesn’t’ know what expressions are in style. When she reaches the decision to leave the house to go with Friend, it is almost as though she has no choice. Thi...