the unbearbale lighness of beings
... before knowing their attitudes, mannerisms or feelings. Hair texture, eye color, and lip shape are all part of the 'self' of the characters. They also possess a 'being', which is everything the 'self' is not, essentially, the indispensable qualities that distinguish one person from the next. The 'being' also includes the collection of decisions that each character makes. These decisions shape their core and help determine why the characters act the way they do. Tomas' 'being' can be defined by his obsessive and unrepentant womanizing. His philandering is what first links him to Tereza and what keeps him close to Sabina. He is also defined by his evasion of responsibility, something he chose to leave far behind when he discarded his first wife and son. The life Tomas chooses next, one of "erotic friendships" and bachelor living, further describes what makes Tomas truly himself. Only when he is having sexual relations with multiple women, taking something from each of them, is he truly in his element. He can easily differentiate between sex and love, and refuses to give up his affairs even when he realizes he loves his wife. Tereza is on the other end of the spectrum, demonstrating that her 'being' is radically dissimilar by sticking by Tomas' side throughout his affairs. Her 'being' can be characterized by her fierce loyalty and desire to be unique to her darling. She desires an exclusive relationship with Tomas, something that is seemingly unattainable because he refuses to end his affairs. Tereza wants to be different and special from all the women Tomas continues to have sex with, and cannot do so because as long as he continues to have affairs, he is telling her that she is not worth the monogamy. The feeling of not being special is destroying her 'being' and begins to seep into her dreams. In one of her nightmares she is exactly the same as every other woman walking around the pool, and this will eventually lead to her death. Tereza cannot differentiate between love and sex, although she tries by having an affair. She is emotionally needy and very attached to Tomas, despite his flaws. We can see what kind of character Tereza is because she latches onto Tomas' hand the first night they spend together, and every night afterwards. Sabina's 'being' can be characterized by her betrayals. She adores clandestine affairs and will abandon anyone who gets too close. She and Tomas share a special relationship because ...