Same Sex Adoption
...homosexuals’ children scored somewhat higher in social studies, lowest in mathematics and language, were least popular at school, experienced the lowest parental involvement both at school and at home, had parents with the lowest expectations for the children, and least frequently expressed higher educational and career aspirations for them” (Cameron & Harris, 2003, as quoted on p. 1175). With this, it isn’t surprising that so many people want to make same sex marriage and adoption by homosexuals illegal. Although there are many people who are opposed to same sex marriage and homosexuals raising children, there are also people who support these issues. Individuals who believe homosexuality is immoral do realize that the issue of homosexuality exists, but choose to fight against it. According to Elizabeth Ahmann, author of Working with families having parents who are gay or lesbian, “Estimates that between six and 14 million people in the United States have at least one homosexual parent” (Ahmann, para. 3). This is evidence that homosexual families do exist, but the problem is whether or not people support them. Those in support of homosexual parents raising children carry an entirely different opinion that is worth debating. It is common for people to agree upon the definition of marriage, as the union of a man and a woman. This definition is widely ignored, by homosexuals themselves, as well as by supporters around the world. Andrew Sullivan, author of Virtually normal: An argument about homosexuality, states his belief: “Marriage is not simply a private contract; it is a social and public recognition of a private commitment” (Sullivan, 1995, p. 53). Sullivan, along with many others, believe that men and women should be granted the same rights and opportunities, including same-sex legal commitments. People in support of same sex union’s feel that taking away this privilege is not only immoral, but also a violation of an individual’s basic human rights. Sullivan writes, “Denying it to homosexuals is the most public affront possible to their public equality” (Sullivan, 1995, p. 53). Susan Golombok, a writer from the British Medical Journal agrees. She chooses to focus specifically on the issue of adoption by lesbian couples. According to Gerald Mallon, author of Gay men choosing parenthood, defines adoption as “The legal process whereby parental rights of birth parents are terminated and the adopting parent becomes the legal parent” (Mallon, 2004, p. 45). Given this definition, the process of adoption does not appear to be highly complicated. As evidence suggests, the process can be much more complex than many are led to believe. In the 1970’s, a study was conducted to research the relationship of children who were raised by lesbian couples compared to children who were raised by heterosexual couples. According to Golombok’s article, “Children from lesbian mother families did not show a higher rate of psychological disorder or difficulties in peer relationships than their counterparts from heterosexual homes” (Golombok, 2002, p. 1408). This evidence disproves the stereotype that children who grow up in a home with a lesbian couple will automatically experience psychological problems in life. There are also concerns regarding who will assume the role of the breadwinner in a lesbian relationship. As society has taught us, we expect men to provide for the family, and women to stay at home and care for the children. The idea of having two women assume the female and male roles in the home may be difficult for many to identify with. In actuality, many lesbian parents work together to share household tasks, which is the opposite of most heterosexual couples. An interesting stereotype associated with this political issue is that children who are raised in a lesbian relationship will experience confusion relating to gender identity. It was concluded in the above journal, that children who were raised by a heterosexual couple showed no amount of confusion about gender identity. Today it is well known that the definition of family is not what it was sixty years ago. There are families all over the world who function with a single parent, with homosexual parents, step-parent/s, grandparents, and/or foster parents. Today, the standard, “normal” family has been replaced by the idea of “different” families. Of these “different” families, one common misconception many have about homosexual relationships and same-sex parenting is for example, a gay couple would take over the child’s life as father figures, without including a female in the picture, or visa versa for lesbian couples. Surprisingly enough, lesbian mothers actually make an effort to involve male figures in the child’s life (Mooney-Somers & Golombok, 2000). Many lesbian mothers encourage their child to develop personal relationships with male figures to increase a sense of diversity. Gerald P. Mallon, author of Gay men choosing parenthood, takes a stance in support of gay men seeking adoption. The difficult question that many gay men face daily is: Should they adopt? What is the legal process to adopt? Is it in the child’s best interest? Among the many questions, there are also many obstacles one must face in the process of adoption. According to Mallon, “Nearly 600,000 children are in the foster care system right now, and 126,000 of them are eligible for adoption” (Mallon, 2004, p. 5). When discovering this information, one may assume that there are plenty of opportunities for gay men to adopt, when in actuality, the process of adoption is much more complex. With so many children living in foster homes, and so many gay men who are more than willing to adopt, many wonder why this remains a problem. The problem is that although evidence shows the majority of gay men are emotionally capable of nurturing a child, even a higher majority of people are opposed to the idea of gay men becoming parents. “It seems like a natural fit,” writes Mallon. “Here are all these children waiting for loving parents and loving homes, and here is a community of prospective parents, gay men who have love, stability, and nurturing to offer these children. But despite the compelling need of the children, and the willingness of the prospective parents, a number of significant legal obstacles prevent gay men from adopting children who are stuck in the foster care system” (Mallon, 2004, pp. 6-7). This state of reason stems from people’s beliefs that homosexual individuals are not natural human beings. Many people also feel that children raised by gay parents will undoubtedly grow up to be gay. According to Jane Drucker, Ph.D., “Some children of gay men and lesbians shy away from identifying with the gay and lesbian community because of the discrimination they have experienced in response to their parents’ sexual orientation, and some homosexual parents hope that their children do not follow in their own painful footsteps” (Drucker, 1998, p. 71). Golombok adds evidence to the issue and writes, “The large majority of children from lesbian families identified as heterosexual in adulthood” (Golombok, 2002, p. 1408). Gerald Mallon shares the same perspective as Drucker. He writes that some evidence suggests that children who grow up with homosexual parents will in turn actually teach the child to be more tolerant of diversity (Mallon, 2004, p. 15). Many children who do not share this experience may show low tolerance of diversity, and have difficulty accepting others who may appear to be different. The homosexual individuals and couples that are successful in the adoption process, may conclude that they have overcome one obstacle, but there are still many more to come. If the parent chooses to place his/her adopted child in school, this is an entirely new issue. According to the School Psychology Review, “More families with sexual minority parents are identifying themselves in the schools, at the same time as more school professionals are bringing to their work an awareness that these families exist and that they require specialized knowledge” (Daniel & Martin, 2000, p. 207). There is a concern that today’s school systems simply do not contain the knowledge, experience, and willingness it takes to conform to the needs of homosexual families (Daniel & Martin, 2000). Again, people who support same sex families agree that the problem with this statement is that homosexual individuals, or children of same sex parents should not be viewed as a disadvantage to the school system. According to the School Psychology Review, many school systems are making an effort to prepare for these differences. “It is important that school psychologists, teacher, administrators, and other professionals begin the processes of opening dialogue and gathering information on issues of sexual orientation, gender identity, and diversity of family constellation that will prepare them to address the specific needs of children from these families” (Daniel & Martin, 2000, p. 208). This may only be one step toward the improvement in today’s school systems, but it is a tremendous leap forward toward a new outlook on life. The belief that homosexual individuals and/or couples simply cannot provide the proper care that children need growing up frustrates many. Many feel that gays or lesbians cannot raise a child as adequately and as successful as a heterosexual parent, and therefore, should not be granted the right to form and raise a family. Jane Drucker, Ph.D., and author of Lesbian and gay families speak out, feels differently. According to Drucker, “Real families are created in a myriad of different manners and configurations” (Drucker, 1998, p. 35). Drucker believes that not all families relate to “the all American family”, with the white picket fence and playful dog. “Families are for teaching morals and ethics, for sharing the world, for leaving or creating a human legacy, for increasing joy and satisfaction with life, for shoring us up when life throws us a curve, for creating intimate relationships, for ‘cementing’ marriages, for providing support among the generations, and for many of us they are the ultimate fulfillment of the ‘American Dream’” (Drucker, 1998, p. 36). Those who support same sex unions and families believe that these goals of teaching, creating relationships, experiencing satisfaction, and providing family support can be accomplished in any type of family. Many assume a child cannot survive without a father/mother figure in the family. Drucker disagrees with this assumption and writes, “Research comparing the children of gay fathers, lesbian mothers, and single heterosexual mothers consistently demonstrates that the children of gay or lesbian parents are indistinguishable in their social and psychosexual development from children of heterosexual parents” (Drucker, 1998, p. 71-72). She also writes about how homes with two parents are clearly better than single- parent homes, and “As unique individuals, two parents each provide their family with different talents, temperaments, and backgrounds” (Drucker, 1998, p. 72). Drucker believes that each homosexual should be viewed as an individual, and those unique characteristics should be seen as advantages, rather than drawbacks. People in support of same sex-unions and adoption by homosexuals would also agree that sexual preference does not determine whether or not a parent is emotionally capable of nurturing a child. “There is no evidence that being gay or lesbian renders an adult incapable of offering love, support, and nurturance to children” (Drucker, 1998, p. 77). People who share this same view are confident that love is love, meaning that where love comes from is unimportant. In Drucker’s book, she contradicts the many common myths regarding why gay and lesbians shouldn’t be allowed to raise children. One myth she proves untrue is the belief that lesbians and gay men are unfit to be parents. She feels that children of gays and lesbians are “at least as stable and well adjusted as the children of heterosexual parents” (Drucker, 1998, p. 110). She continues to define what it takes to become a successful parent: “More important than the number, gender, or sexual orientation of parents in raising a healthy child is the ability and willingness of the parental figure(s) to support children’s individual development according to each child’s unique needs and abilities” (Drucker, 1998, p. 111). This standpoint urges others to understand that homosexual individuals can provide just as much love and support to their child/children as a heterosexual parent can. Drucker not only stands up for equal rights, but she works to bring two different aspects of life into one. In her readings, she demonstrates that there is no right or wrong way to live life, and to accept everyone for who they are inside. Another myth she proves untrue is that many people believe that children who grow up with gay or lesbian parental figures are likely to experience sexual abuse. Abuse can occur in any home or in any type of family, but it is a fact that heterosexual men commit the majority of sexual abuse, and surprisingly enough, evidence shows that gay men and women actually demonstrate a low rate of child molestation (Drucker, 1998). With this evidence, it is safe to confirm that just because a parent raising a child may be a homosexual, does not indicate that his/her parent will sexually abuse the child. In this same myth, Drucker found that gay men are also known to show their will to nurture a child more than heterosexual men (Drucker, 1998). This statement may surprise many people who believe that homosexual men do not know how to care for a child. Again, this reconfirms the fact that homosexual parents are no less capable of emotionally caring for a child than heterosexual parents. For several years, and continuing on through today, many people remain uncomfortable with idea of homosexuality. At one point h...