DATING MADE MY FAMILY POSSIBLE!
... a home for a wife was seen as a man’s readiness for marriage. 1880 – 1920 – Tough Times for Guys During this time, the female impression of men deteriorated. Men were now seen as “depraved, immoral and unable to control their animal passions”. The separate “worlds” became even more separated. When the two sexes were together it was required that each kept their distance from each other. Chaperones were required, especially in the upper social classes. Romantic love was considered to pull the couple together effortlessly. During this time it was now required that a young man and woman had to be formally introduced before speaking to each other. If the mother felt the young man worthy to see her daughter she would ask him to call on her daughter. After the first visit the daughter could request the young man to call. The majority of the time the couple spent together was at the girl’s home. After the formal engagement the man and woman were allowed to spend more time alone, however, chastity was still valued. It was clearly understood that a young man continuously calling upon the same young lady had one goal – marriage. The average and poorer families of these times did not have a formal courtship systems so working-class girls and boys met in public places. Also cities were growing, which meant young people were leaving smaller community homes to work in larger places. Still usually abiding by the rules, girls were not permitted to have boys in their rooms and vice-versa so they met in public places. As the wealthy youth saw this freedom they also wanted to be able to meet outside the homes. By this swing from private to public, controls over courtship had to change and become less formal. It is felt that the movement of courtship from the home to public allowed less private time for couples to get to know one another. It is also a time when sexual expression in courtship began to increase. Now a “virtuous” woman would still only have sex with the man she was about to marry. “Dating” as we know it today was seen as the “outgrowth of both the creation of an adolescence stage of the human life cycle (which had not been created as a distinct stage to this point) and the emergence of the city culture. (Picture here) 1912 Enter the 20th Century During the 1920’s courtship changed and it became more liberated and “dating” began to evolve. World War I had a definite effect on young people, especially women. Rapid changes caused young people to behave in “unconventional” ways according to their parents. Peer pressure established the rules of what was acceptable on dates. Women were able to go out and work along side of men. The invention of television presented ideas on how to go on dates for adolescent teens. Women now smoked cigarettes in public, cast off their corsets, wore lipstick, shortened their hair and shortened their skirts. There were no chaperones on dates between males and females. Young people went “out” where it required money and the man paid for the date. The introduction of sound to movies in 1927 changed the young people’s culture direction as well and made it one of the most popular past times. Music changed and dancing became more a “couple” activity rather than a group activity. More and more young people had a car or access to one so it allowed a couple the chance to get away and have more privacy together. The practice of “petting” was carried out by many dating couples. The new freer kind of dating was thought to allow each person to get to know each other better before they made a long term commitment to a single partner. There was a swing on the focus of dating now toward success and popularity with out involving emotions. During this time the balance of power previously held by the woman shifted to the man “with the money”. Girls often felt that the guy spent the money and expected something (sex) in return. However, most women who engaged in premarital sex did so only with the man she intended to marry. The ideas of dating and courtship also became more clearly defined. Dating was seen as a means of getting to know someone before choosing a partner and it became a measurement of their success and popularity. Courtship focused on finding a mate. The 1930’s “dating” picture changed. Things slowed down and a “steady” relationship period developed as a bridge between dating and marriage. Going “steady” m...