seeing the light
...d this was not so because of the way you talked to me and the way you treated me…as if I was just an acquaintance who never meant anything to you. I was willing to wait for you…I knew you would come back and tell me you realized you just couldn’t live without me. But as much as I expected a reconciliation, I caused myself heartaches because I did not hear from you. It took me a week of being in this absurd state. When you left, I was so weak I didn’t know where I could find strength. Talking with my closest friends helped me realize my worth. They were there to give advice. They were there to support me throughout my darkest hours. I’m very lucky to have my circle of friends. I am blessed with these TRUE FRIENDS who never left me and who helped me find the strength I needed. Realization just hit me these past few days…it was really hard for me to move on, but I know now that I can and that I am the only one who can help myself, with the support of my dear friends. I am moving on. Things are going smoothly. I can smile, really smile again after a long week of emptiness. However, after I told myself that you would not contact me again, you did. I was entertaining my visitors, Rex, Jhica, Lloyd, Bessie and Dave (my panget), when I received a text message from you. It said, “Nsan ka? Blikan tyo?” I didn’t know how I would react. Since my friends were here I acted normally…as if you did not send me a text message. Later when I was alone, I started thinking to clear my mind. I recalled all that happened to us…some questions popped in my mind again. Why would you text me like that? Were you serious or were you just fooling around? I scrutinized the events that happened during the night. I thought of replying. I also thought of using my best friend’s cell phone to text you and tell you to stop annoying me…but I didn’t, because it would just prove that I was still affected. That night showed that I possessed the strength I thought I did not have. I faced the new day with a smile but you called. You were in the house of one of your newfound friends. You asked me why I didn’t reply to the text message you sent the night before. I just smiled to myself. I knew you were just fooling around or maybe someone could have dared you to text me that kind of message. You passed the phone to Ruth, the girl that is special to you at this moment…I guess?! We talked. I tried to be nice. Don’t worry I didn’t say anything bad. I just listened to her stories. You got the phone back and you implied that you were very happy with your life without me. I implied as well that I was doing fine without you and it worked. But when I put down the phone…I was very sad. I couldn’t deny to myself that I was still affected. I needed to be strong. I needed to go on. I knew I should not go back to the start again. I tried to ignore my sadness and everything turned out for the better. I forgot that incident easily. I thought the challenge was over. The next day, you called again. I was sleeping and th...