I love Lucy
... dah dah dah (drops little whistle out of screen) (reaches out to pick it up) R: well, what do ya know, 3rd dimensional television F: yep L: sh….Dah dah dah dah dah dah F:(CLAPS) L: The Lucy Ricardo show, dah dah dah dah dah dah R: I don’t think this is such a hot show Fred, I think I’ll get another station L: as our first offering this evening….STOP that now go back and sit down. R: that’s very funny, now come on out of there L: as our first offering this evening we present R: Lucy I said come on out of there L: As our first offering this evening we present that ignitable personality, that talented performer, that versatile entertainer Lucy Ricardo….. (Ricky plugs in cord) L: AHHHH.Ahh. Ahhhhhh (runs out of TV) Ricky are you crazy or something, what ya trying to do barbecue me. R: well I’m sorry L: are you really sorry R: Of course I’m really sorry L: are you truly sorry R: yeah L: well are you sorry enough to let me do the commercial R: no L: oh why not R: look honey, even if I wanted to give you the job I couldn’t, they already hired another girl L: ohhh R: say uh, what did you do with all the works L: I took em out R: Well I can see that but where is it L: it? R; yeah, the chosset is slides right out L: all in one piece R: yes, all in one piece. L: eyyyyyy R: what do you mean eyyyyyy? L: Well R: Lucy what have you done? L: well I didn’t know it all came out together R: so L: so I took it out one piece at a time. R: ohhhhh Next morning, Lucy is in bed, Ricky is getting dressed. R: Lucy I gotta be at the television rehearsal in half an hour, is my breakfast ready? Are you still not speaking to me, look, I don’t care if you don’t want to talk to me, but will you please get up and fix my breakfast…..I need my strength, Lucy are gonna fix my breakfast or not, what do you want me to do starve to death? L: Would you please R: look, I had a perfect right to bold you out, putting the television set together is gonna cost a fortune, maybe more L: I’m glad it’s broken R: Glad? L: Yes, now I won’t have to look at your sill Cuban mug on that show tonight! R: (speaks in Spanish) (dials phone number) Hello, oh Fred, could you come up for a minute please, senior Ricardo and I are not speaking to each other, and I like for you to do me a favor, thank you Fred. Ricky walks out the room, he turns around and L: (sticks tounge out) Ricky is in living room waiting for Fred Fred enters F: hi Rick, what do ya want R: well listen Fred I got ta go to rehearsal right away and I’m expecting a very important phone call. And Lucy’s mad at me, so will you please stay here and give someone a message. Fred: sure (Lucy is listening behind the corner) R: well the girl that is going to do the television commercial is gonna call. Now you tell her to be at studio 10, television center, at 1:00 this afternoon (focus camera on Lucy) F; alright R: thanks a lot Fred F: you’re welcome R: see ya later Lucy walks into the living room after Ricky shuts the door L: oh hi Fred, what you doing here F: hi , Ricky asked me to wait here and take a telephone message. He told me that you two aren’t speaking to each other. L: ohh, well, I’ll take the call Fred, it’s silly to have you wait up here F: alright, it’s for the girl whose doing the commercial on Ricky’s Television show tonight, and he wants to be sure she gets the message. Now you won’t mind this Lucy? L: oh no, not at all, Television Center, Studio 10, 1:00.(Lucy’s eyes get big,) F: hey how did you know that L: oh, well that’s were Ricky does all his television shows. F: oh, well I’ll see ya later L; okay bye (Phone Rings) L: Hello, oh no Mr. Ricardo isn’t here, oh yes, yes he wanted me to give you a message, he said to tell you that he’s very sorry but they already hired another girl to do the commercial and they won’t be needing you after all. Say goodbye. (Hangs up) Dededelledede! Television Center CM: Okay Hoe I’m ready to rehearse the commercial, where’s the girl. J: she’s studying her script, she’ll be right in here. CM: this new sponsor, J: Yeah Com. This stuff any good: J: well it ought to be, it’s got everything in it. Meet, vegetables, minerals, vitamins, alcohol 23 % (pause, double take) alcohol 23 %. Lucy enters scene CM: are you the young lady whose gonna do the commercial L: yes sir CM well I’m Ross Elliot, the director, how do ya do (shakes her hand) L: oh how do ya do, I’m Lucille Magilicute. CM: Ricky sure knows how to pick em L: oh Thankyou CM you know your lines yet L: well I think so CM well let’s run though it once L: alright CM now you stand right over here L: yes sir CM now let’s try it once and remember be bright and bovaciouse L: yes sir CM: Morey will you stand by with the script. Voice: alright L: (clears throat) Hello Friends, I’m you Vitameatavegamin girl, are you tired run down , lis lis, do you poop out at parties, are you unpopular. The answer to all your problems is in this little bottle CM: Now you pick up the bottle L: Oh CM: little higher, that’s right L: the answers to all your problems are in this little bottle. Vitameatavegamin. Vitameatavegamin contains Vitamins, Meat, Vegetables, and minerals. Yes with vitameatavegamin you can spoon your way to health, all you have to do is take a tablespoon full after every meal CM: now you take some L; oh, it’s so taste to (tastes it) (makes a bad face) it just like candy CM: no, no, no, look, you’re supposed to like the stuff, you’ve got to smile, be happy L: yes sir CM: now try it again L: yes sir (pours another spoonful) it’s so tasty too (ugly face again) just like candy. CM: nope once more L: (pours another) it’s so tasty to, (bad face, but tries to cover it) just like candy CM: that’s going to be fine, you just go ahead L: okay…so why don’t you join the 1000 of happy pappy people and get a great big bottle of Vitameatavegamin tomorrow, that’s Vita-Meata-Vegamin.(wink) CM: oh that’s fine, fine, now you’ve got the feeling, now I’d like to try it once more only faster and brighter L: faster and Brighter: yes sir Ricky enters scene R: hi Ross CM: Oh, hello Ricky R: Hi ya Lucy, Now I was……(pause) L: hi R: and why may I ask are you going here CM Cuz she’s gonna do the commercial R: She’s gonna do the commercial CM: yeah R: what did you do to the girl that was supposed to be here, now Lucy I told you, you couldn’t do the commercial. Now what’s the big idea. Lucy what have you got to say for yourself. L: Hello friends I’m your Vitameatavegamin girl, are you tired run down lis lis R: (interrupts her) Never mind, never mind L: do you poop out at parties, R; Never mind, now come on you’re going home CM: now wait a minute Ricky it’s to late to get anybody else, besides she’s pretty good. R: oh sure, sure CM: no, I mean it, listen to her, you go ahead Miss Magilicute. R: yeah go ahead, Miss Magilicute L: hello friends I ‘m your Vitameatavegamin girl, are you tired run down lis lis, do you poop out at parties are you unpopular, the answer to all your problems is in this little bottle. Vitameatavegamin, Vitameatavegamin contains vitamins, meats, vegetables, and minerals, yes with Vitameatavegamin you can spoon your way to health, all you have to do is take a big tablespoon full after every meal, it’s so tasty to, tastes just like candy, so why don’t you join the thousands of happy pappy people and get a great big bottle of Vitameatavegamin tomorrow, that’s Vita- Meata- Vegamin (Wink) (Ricky is smiling and giggling to himself) CM: see what I mean R: alright, you can do it tonight, but only because we’re gonna talk ...