Indidelity
...inion, it is natural to get tempted and feel attracted to other people of the opposite sex, even if a person is happily married. We’re all human beings, and what do we have eyes for anyway? However, there’s a fine line between just looking and feeling attracted and acting on impulse. People should really think about the consequences that their actions may bring. Before people commit adultery, they should really ask themselves a question-Is it worth it? In order to discover solutions to the problem of cheating during marriage, I must discuss the reasons behind why people cheat . With today’s technology, cheating spouses have very little fear of getting caught. Pagers, cell phones, voice mail, and e-mail can turn scaredy-cats into bold cheaters (“Men Cheat” 118). Gender is also and important factor in an investigation of extra-marital sexuality. According to an article called “Infidelity, Why men cheat, there’s a list of explanations to why men are unfaithful. And the list goes like this: 1. It is considered that men cheat because their wives let them get away with it. Men wouldn’t cheat their partner didn’t let them. 2. Relationship experts forewarn that if a man cheats on his girlfriend of fiancé, he will most definitely cheat on his wife. Despite the warning, women still marry these men. “Men are well aware that the loneliness some women feel is so strong that they would rather settle for a cheater, and write off his scurrilous ways as “boys will be boys”(“Men Cheat” 118-120). 3. Another reason given for men’s cheating behavior is their frustration over their present relationship. After the novelty of the marriage wares off, some husbands begin to believe that the reality of having a wonderful future together shifts to the actualities of the existence of everyday problems and frustrations. Therefore men cheat to obtain the emotion that is no longer present in the current relationship. 4. Yet another explanation is a man’s need to seek excitement of being with another woman. For these men cheating is an ego boost. And they cheat for an appraisal of their manhood by someone other than the woman they are married to. Cheating then becomes an escape from responsibilities, with hopes to boost self-esteem and self- worth. These men don’t think of the consequences of their actions. 5. Some men seek revenge for something his wife did or said, then they decide to get back at her by being unfaithful. These cheaters assume that their partner won’t find out. But the fact that she will be hurt by it is satisfaction enough. Once a man begins cheating, it is unlikely that he will stop (“Men Cheat” 120-122). I have a friend(2) who just recently got divorced, due to the fact that he was cheating on her. According to her, her husband was a good man and he really loved her. However, he was the type of a guy who would not and did not resist temptation. He acted on it, and he did not think that his wife would find out. He was wrong about that one, women are smarter then that. She caught him with his pants down, literally. She knew that he loved (2) For literally purposes and for confidentiality, I will disclose my friends’ name. her, but she could no longer live with the fear of him cheating on her again. She just stopped trusting him, and when there is no trust in the relationship the relationship becomes too painful (Personal Interview). According to Norment, women have different motives for being unfaithful. Women today, compared to women in the past, are more likely to cheat on their husbands. Among other reasons, this increase can be related to the fact that women are more likely to work outside the home, alongside men(148-150). Norment also lists explanations to explain the motives behind female infidelity. A major reason why women are considered to cheat is for a boost in self-esteem. Women are emotion seekers; therefore, they sometimes seek an extra-marital affair to prove to themselves that they are still desirable, and to also feel that the are loved for who they are, not just because they cook, clean, and look after the children. A woman is most likely to feel this way if her husband takes her for granted. She feels used and he shows little interest in her life. Emotional neglect refers to a situation when a husband doesn’t make time for his wife. His energy is used up, usually from work, and the relationship loses romance, and sex is often on the run. In such a case, women often fulfill their loneliness and need for a real relationship by having an affair. Revenge is also another reason women give for committing adultery. However, women don’t seek revenge for the same reasons men do. Women claim to seek revenge in retaliation when they discover that their husbands have been cheating. These women believe that this kind of revenge is most gratifying when their husbands don’t know about it. Similarly to men, some women also claim to cheat because they seek excitement. In some cases women want more than their husbands can or are willing to offer. They are tired of the “once a week” sex life, and monogamy seems to be becoming dull and routine. If an effort is not exerted to keep sex exciting and thrilling, then perhaps the wife will then decide to get that thrill elsewhere. Another explanation of female adultery is that women seek seduction and romance. Many women yearn for the romance they shared when they were dating. In other cases, women cheat with men who are considered to be their “sugar daddies”. These women are attracted to men with power, money, and position. A ...