Journal
...igned a seven year contract worth one hundred and nineteen million dollars. This heart breaking news could not have come at a worse time. As I have seen the Astros lose many of their other free agent to the big business of baseball this is the first time that I have realized that the Astros will be sub-par for the first time in three years. Personally I know that if I ever meet Scott Boras I might kill him and suspend his body from the stands in centerfield. This might be harsh words coming from a fairly bias source, but common was the extra forteen million worth it. He had to take our only trump card, and the best prospect of the last five yeats and sell him just so he could make an extra million. Well, there is one good thing I can think about all this. If the Mets continue on their current course the will lose, with or without Beltran. I have never hoped for someone to lose before, but if he could lose my life would be a whole lot more satisfying. January 11, 2005 Have you ever wanted to actually kill a relative. Well I have. My step-father has shown to me in the last hour that not only does he not care bout what I think, but that he will in fact punish me and scold me for thinking it. One of my former school mates has apparently had problems with his thrity-year old wife, go figure. In saying that though I have realized for the first time that it is not up to my parents what I do with my life. After all I am of legal age to do what I wish now arn't I. However, my step-father seems to disagree with me on this. He says that as long as I rely on him for financial suppor he has me in his pocket. While this may be true I would hope that is man would have more love for me than that. Even with this I know that some of his harshness and lack of emotional support was caused by the way he was brought up. His father was in the navy and my step-father and his family were moved often. He didn't get much loving attention from his father due to his father's work and his mother was often busy managing restaurants. From an early age he was tought always to stand up straight and to keep busy, giving him his current outlook on life. While this outlook may make him strict I do believe that he still cares for me, and I hope that one day his heart will soften before he dies. January 13, 2005 I have just be given a few new CDs from my father, and I now realize how much weaker music is today compared to the music of the past. I mean if Jimmy Hendricks and Jim Morrison were alive today I wonder whether or not they would be happy with what they see. Their music seem to have a whole lot more of a message. Music of today seems to only want to destroy what I think was the original purpose of music. Music is poetry in song form and for something to be poetry it has to have a central idea, or at least something to focus on. I truely believe that if someone was not told that "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" had to do with LSD, they would have no idea what it was talking about. No one cares about the sixties anymore and about how millions of kids my age rose up against an oppressive government to give some of us freedoms we thought we always had. Granted, most of them di...